Never Say Never Read online

  “We could go to my place,” said Danny, playing with the keys in his hands.

  “Oh, no...” Steve said quickly. “You're new – we don't want to intrude.”

  “Well, if I'm part of the band – I figure I ought to do my share, right?” Danny's grin managed to make me melt inwardly. “I don't want to be a drag on our resources.”

  “You're not,” I said – too quickly. “I mean – you're already working pretty hard to catch up, and...”

  “I do have a freezer full of frozen pizzas,” Danny added. “And a beach view.”

  “Those frozen pizzas do sound awfully tempting,” Steve said. “And it's better than running into Neve's dad...”

  “But how are we going to get there?” I said. “The bus doesn't run that late – and everyone knows we can only fit two into Steve's car.”

  Steve's dad had bought a vintage Volkswagon Beetle for his sixteenth birthday. It looked incredibly cool, but it was also incredibly impractical – there was no way more than three people could fit in at a squeeze. “I left my car on campus – I'd have to walk back to get it...”

  “I'll drive Neve,” Danny offered. “We've got my car. And then Luc and Kyle and Steve could drive together. You two just follow me...”

  The boys looked at each other nervously – as if they were going to object – and then fell silent. “Yeah, sounds good,” said Luc. “You do that.” He gave me a wary stare. “You okay with that, Neve?”

  “Uh...sure.” I was blushing again, wasn't I? I knew it didn't mean anything – Danny was just being gentlemanly by offering to drive me. He wasn't flirting – if that's what the boys were worried about. They knew as well as I did – no dating in the band. Those were the rules – weren't they? Not that Danny Blue – gorgeous, talented, and easily five years my senior, would want anything to do with me.

  Still, I couldn't help but feel a shock of electricity as he helped me into his car seat and got in beside me, revving up the engine.

  “Still haven't gotten used to driving on the wrong side of the road,” he laughed. “Actually, Neve – there's a reason I asked you to come along with me in the car...”

  I tensed up, my face going hot and cold all at once.

  “Oh?”

  “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

  All of a sudden I was painfully aware of his presence beside me; the very air between us seem to hum and vibrate.

  “Listen, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that you're in charge here. Of the band, I mean. The others are incredibly talented – but you're clearly the organizer here.”

  “I guess. The guys like to leave the admin stuff to me – I'm pretty good at it.”

  “So I trust you completely – if the boys trust you, so do I. But I wanted to get your input on something. I'll go along with whatever you have to say.”

  “Of course?” What was he talking about?

  “We haven't talked about the obvious.”

  You mean the fact that I'm practically salivating over you?

  “Was it that obvious?”

  “We haven't met since Monday morning – but tomorrow is class.”

  “Oh.” My face fell. “That.”

  “I'm still your TA. I've avoided bringing it up because I'm not sure how much of an issue it's going to be. And I'm definitely in for this Friday – you guys needed a guitarist and I'm in. But if, after that, it's weird for you having your TA in your band...”

  “Not at all...”

  “Ethically, it's put me in a bit of a tight spot. I do some of the grading for the course, and while I'm sure Professor Poe would understand if I asked him if I could excuse myself from marking your work in particular, I don't want you to feel...obligated.”

  “I don't – really.” I didn't have to think. “We need you here. You're even better than Geoff – though don't let him hear you say that. And the TA stuff – I mean, I'm friends with a few grad students. It's not that weird. It happens. If you can get out of grading my stuff, though, it'd probably be easier...”

  “I just don't want you to feel like I'm in a position of power over you,” he said.

  I'm not sure I'd mind that, I couldn't help thinking. But I only swallowed and nodded. “Believe me, you're not.” I said, in a voice that came out cockier than I meant it.

  He smiled – a slow, sexy smile that revealed that he was amused. “Well. I'm glad you're a girl who knows how to stay in control.”

  “I'm good at that.”

  “Then you won't have a problem coming back to my place, will you?” Is he flirting? Neve – get a grip – was that flirtation?

  “As long as you haven't got any neighbors to complain about the noise.”

  “No neighbors close enough to hear – believe me...I make a lot of noise.”

  This time I was pretty sure he was flirting.

  “I'm intrigued.”

  “I certainly hope you are, Never Ever.” He put a hand on my knee and I felt my whole body tingle with anticipation. “You're certainly an intriguing character yourself.”

  “You think so?” I was aching for him – every fiber of my being calling out for him to touch me again.

  “You're a mystery.”

  I laughed aloud. The tabloids had been covering me ever since I was six years old. “I doubt that very much,” I couldn't help saying. “I'm an open book – I can promise you that much. My life's been splashed out on every...”

  “Because of your dad?”

  So he'd known the whole time. I flushed slightly.

  “So you know. That I'm just another celebutante trying to make it big.”

  “I don't think that about you,” he said. “I think if you were, you'd have brought us back to your dad's house – you'd try to capitalize on your name. I haven't seen you doing that. You're a mystery to me, Never.” His eyes darkened as they lingered on my face, on my lips. The look he had on his face made my stomach do flip-flops. What I saw in his eyes – was this desire?

  He turned abruptly back to the road, stopping the car. “Here we are,” he said quickly.

  I gasped as I saw his house. Danny lived overlooking the sea, on a tiny remote cottage that looked less like a rock star's pad than like a charming bed and breakfast. Luc, Kyle, and Steve pulled in behind us, and Danny got out of the car, interrupting our interlude.

  “Nice place, huh?” Danny said. “I got it for the view. Reminds me of my place in England, near the waterfront.”

  The house was charming inside and out – simple and rustic, with gorgeous ocean views that seemed even more breathtaking in the moonlight.

  “What is this, Ye Olde Seaside Inn?” asked Steve, laughing.

  “Mock it all you like,” Danny said grinning, “but I bet I can out-rock you any day, paisley curtains or no!”

  So we got to jamming. Once again, Danny amazed me – his fingers were so tight, so caressing on the guitar, that watching him play felt like watching a master at work. He knew when to stroke, when to pluck, when to hold – I watched his fingers playing with the string and imagined those hands on my body, against my skin...

  I shook my head. Concentrate, Neve.

  But Danny Blue wasn't making it easy.

  Chapter 7

  For the next two days, we spent nearly 24/7 practicing at Danny's house. I didn't get much time to follow up our previous conversation. Time was of the essence, and right now we were all business – we barely even had time to exchange “how are you's” and “how are you doings” before settling down to work. And for his part, Danny seemed to have entirely forgotten the flirtatious conversation we'd had in the car – if, indeed, it had been flirtatious at all. His demeanor was stiff – almost cold – something even Kyle and Luc had picked up on, deciding between them that it was due to his Englishness. They'd started calling him “English,” to his mild amusement, and cracking jokes about tea and biscuits every opportunity they got. But I couldn't help but wonder if his sudden coolness had something to do with how close we'd gotten – or almos
t gotten – in the car the week before. I found myself feeling flustered – unable to focus, getting painfully close to distraction, wondering if Danny found me beautiful, found me attractive enough, whether or not he had a girlfriend...questions I'd never asked myself before.

  But I didn't have too much time to worry. We had a show to do, and time was running out. Thursday night we rehearsed until three in the morning, and we had only just begun to catch a glimpse of the sunrise on the horizon to the east when at last Danny began to yawn.

  “Time to pack up,” said Kyle, leaping to his feet. “I'm crashing with Luc and Steve tonight so I don't have such a long commute to campus tomorrow. Neve, do you mind driving yourself back?” This time I'd brought my own car.

  “Go on ahead!” I said, bidding farewell to the others and watching as they drove off into the distance. I fumbled with my keys, packing up my equipment and heading into the car.

  Bam! No sooner had I started up the car than I felt an unmistakable jolt, followed by a sense of deflation. I'd run over something sharp – who knew what? - and my tire had gone from full to flat in a matter of seconds.

  Damn it. I'd been meaning to change the spare tire for weeks, but somehow between the excitement of college and the stress of the band I hadn't been able to make it to the shop. “Guys!” I called out, but they'd already gone. I instinctively picked up my cell phone, ready to dial, before sighing in exasperation. The battery was flat. I'd have to ask Danny for the use of his living room sofa – or else for his car keys – two requests that seemed awfully intimate given our relative coldness. But there was nobody out here for miles – there was no way I could walk back myself. I'd have to ask Danny...

  Flushing with embarrassment, I made my way back to Danny's house. I knocked softly, but I heard no reply.

  “Danny?” I called out. I followed the lights into his bedroom, but stopped on the threshold, embarrassed. Danny was sitting on the bed, entirely naked except for a towel, his hair soaking wet, playing on his acoustic guitar, which had drowned out my words.

  I turned bright pink and stepped back. It was awkward enough walking in on my TA at 4 in the morning – did he have to be naked, too? My heart was fluttering faster than one of Steve's beats – if Danny's muscle tees suggested chiseled, ripped, abs, they certainly didn't do him proper justice; now that he was shirtless, I could tell that Danny was easily the most toned guy I'd ever met. His skin glistened and across his chest and one shoulder was some kind of medieval pattern tattoo. Over his heart, there was a large lion’s head in blue. From this distance I couldn’t see the entire pattern or make out the words scrawled beneath it across his lower stomach leading down to the v hidden by his towel slung loosely low on his hips. I gulped. As much as I tried, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. Danny Blue made wearing clothes to cover up that gorgeous body a sin. Why does he have to be so hot?

  He was playing a haunting song on the guitar.

  “Danny...” I whispered – but as soon as I caught sight of his face I fell silent. His eyes were red, and tears were streaming down his face. He was singing...

  “Since I lost you/I've never known

  how to feel anything but alone

  Since you're gone – all I can see

  An empty road in front of me...”

  His voice grew ragged and rough with his tears; he closed his eyes and kept on playing.

  “I can't see the rest of it through

  knowing I'm living without you

  One year today – and it's still not real

  One year today – I cannot heal...”

  He stopped playing, and in a fury pushed his guitar to the floor. It clattered loudly – and I stepped back, embarrassed. I didn't want him to know I'd seen him like this. Better to spend the night in my car...

  I tiptoed backwards towards the door, hoping I wouldn't disturb him. Maybe if I just knocked again, more loudly, he'd think I'd just arrived. I waited a few minutes before I cleared my throat loudly and knocked again at the front door.

  This time all the lights were off. He must have gone to sleep. But I couldn't wait any longer. Already I was hazy on my feet, half-asleep with exhaustion. I needed to get some sleep – I was dead tired and I needed to be in top form for tomorrow. I crept back into his bedroom, praying that I'd be able to wake him up without touching him.

  I stumbled my way towards him, not able to see much except in the darken room except the outline of his bed and him in it. “Danny...” I whispered. “Danny, wake up...”

  I caught sight of his towel on the floor near his bed, almost tripping on it – he must have gone to bed completely naked. The thought filled me with a mixture of embarrassment and desire, remembering what I had seen of him just moments before. “Danny...”

  I didn't want to do this, but I didn't have a choice. I reached out to touch him, tapping his shoulder. “Danny, I'm really sorry, but...”

  He groaned lightly. “You...” he murmured. “I've been missing you...”

  My heart skipped a beat. Danny Blue had missed me.

  He reached out and pulled me to him. “You feel so soft,” he murmured, resting his head against my stomach. “You smell so good....”

  “Danny, wake...”

  I wanted to say something, but no sooner had I opened my mouth than he pulled me onto the bed and stopped it with a kiss. Instantly my mind went blank – the touch was electric, overwhelming. The smell of him was intoxicating.

  Nobody in the band, Neve...

  But feeling Danny Blue with his arms around me was too good to resist. I couldn't push him away now. So – he'd wanted me, too. As much as I had wanted him. It had felt right...in my sleep-deprived state I was no longer sure whether I was asleep or awake. All I knew was that his lips tasted so good on mine. I'd wanted him for so long. And he wanted me too.

  He threw an arm across my body, pinning me in place.

  “Danny...” I tried to say. “I need your keys...” But I was so tired, so sleepy, that the words wouldn't come. Before I knew it, I was asleep in his arms, his naked body warm and sweaty against my own.

  I woke up to the light streaming in through the window, and the smell of the salty sea air. Where was I? And then I remembered. I was in Danny's bed – we'd kissed – we'd fallen asleep side by side. I looked over at him – he'd turned away from me in the middle of the night, his hair tousled with sleep, his long dark lashes fanned out on his chiseled cheekbones. Even in sleep he looked beautiful, like a fallen angel – his face strangely vulnerable without the cocky arrogance that gave him such an irresistible presence during the day. Tears were still wet upon his pillow. What had made him suffer so, I wondered? What gave him such pain? I wanted to reach over and touch his face, to kiss his full sexy lips, to wipe away the wetness that glistened from tears of pain clinging to his lashes. He looked so vulnerable, so much like a lost little boy. I glanced down at myself. I was fully clothed, but my hand was resting underneath the covers against Danny’s hard stomach, below his waist.

  Oh God, what did I just do...

  Maybe we could pretend it never happened. Maybe...

  I tried to sneak out of bed, but he turned in his sleep and threw his arm over me again. “No...” he whispered, still half-asleep, “don't go...I always sleep better with you…”

  Wait, what?

  “Danny...” my voice began to falter.”

  “No...” he murmured. “Stay with me, Peyton...”

  My eyes widened. “Peyton?” I couldn't resist exclaiming out loud, so loudly that his eyes shot open. “Who's Peyton?”

  He sprang to his feet, shock and panic spreading across his face, as he grabbed a pillow to cover himself.

  “Neve? What the hell are you doing here?”

  Chapter 8

  I was turning several shades of bright scarlet as Danny's eyebrows crinkled in confusion. It was abundantly clear that Danny Blue had no idea whatsoever what had happened between us last night. The look of warmth on his face – the soft cadence of his voice –
all these had vanished, replaced by a look of utter surprise. If it were anyone else – if it were Kyle or Luc or Steve – I'd know how to handle it. We'd fallen asleep next to each other before and sometimes even woken up cuddling (hell, even Luc and Steve had woken up together a time or two). We'd always just laughed it off, chalked it up to drink or exhaustion – but this was different. I'd spent the night wrapped up in Danny Blue's arms, fantasizing about his skin against mine, about his hands trailing up and down my body – under the impression that he was, at least, fantasizing about me too.

  “I'm...so sorry...” I stuttered, trying to think as quickly as I could. If he didn't remember what had happened between us, I figured, at least I could find a way to spin things that wasn't so awkward. “My car broke down last night...I wanted to wake you...couldn't...slept on the couch...”

  “Your car broke down?”

  “Isleptonthecouch,” I said breathlessly, trying to force the words out of my mouth. “I was stranded last night – I mean, this morning. And I couldn't get home and my phone was dead so I went back in to find you but you were asleep, and, uh...”

  “Unclad?” Danny couldn't help but betray a hint of a smile. One hell of a sexy smile. The image of his gorgeous, chiseled naked body was distracting, even now. He grabbed a luscious green silk dressing gown and put it on. “No, you wouldn't have been able to wake me up – even if you'd wanted to.” His eyes darkened. “I've been on prescription sleeping medication for...well, just about a year now. Had an accident. Helps me sleep. Once I take one of those, I'm knocked out for the night – completely unconscious.”

  Not completely, I thought.

  “I didn't have anywhere to go,” I explained. “I didn't want to bother you so I figured I'd just sleep on the couch.”

  “It's not your fault,” said Danny. “I sleep like the dead even at the best of times – and with three hours average of sleep two days running, I'm out like a light. I've been running on adrenaline for days now. But had I known, I would of course have gotten up and driven you back home. I am a gentleman, after all. Even if last night I was a very sleepy, very conked-out gentleman. I hope you'll forgive me. Was the couch comfortable, at least?”