Being His First Read online

  After shutting the door I turned to Salvatore, knowing that he already knew that I had to cancel our plans. What else could I do? Chase was my boyfriend, the guy I was dating, not Salvatore.

  “Can we reschedule for tomorrow?” I asked. “I’m really sorry. I had no idea he’d be back today.”

  “Of course. Things like that happen sometimes,” Salvatore said. His words were more gracious than his tone. The sparkle that made him so appealing all the time had darkened a bit, making me feel slightly uncomfortable.

  “Do you want us to drop you off anywhere when we leave?” I offered.

  “No, if I need to go anywhere I can take my bike. I don’t mind at all. I wouldn’t want to interfere with your reunion. You haven’t seen each other in a long time.”

  “Really, it’s no…”

  He cut me off. “I should go and change, do some studying now that I have some additional free time.”

  I watched Salvatore leave and I couldn’t help but feel guilty although I’d done nothing wrong. Okay, technically cancelling plans just because Chase showed up unexpectedly was wrong. I could have told him that I could only meet him later tonight or that that day wouldn’t work, but I didn’t. However, he was my boyfriend and he’d shown up with good intentions, wanting to surprise me.

  As I got ready to go out for the day and evening with Chase there was a nagging voice in the back of my head that kept making its presence known. What are you getting yourself into? That’s what it kept asking and I had no answer to give it because I didn’t know.

  Chapter 6

  I walked to the door, ready to leave for my outing with Chase. I smiled, trying to eliminate all the distracting thoughts that were going through my head.

  “What are we going to do today?” I asked. “What’s the surprise?”

  “You’ll have to wait and see,” he said. I did get kind of excited because if it was a surprise that meant that we wouldn’t do the same old thing—go to the country club to hang out and then to his parents lake house.

  “Did you get a new car?” I asked, realizing that his black BMW5 series was now a black 7 series.

  “No, it’s the old man’s. He and mom are out of town.”

  Chase referring to his father as old man startled me at first. I’d grown used to not hearing that and it was one thing that I could never understand. I’d never refer to my father that way. It seemed rude and while Chase never called his father that to his face, he almost always did behind his back. It was like he thought it was cool. I wondered if he called me any other names to his friends when I wasn’t around.

  “Tell me about how your finals went,” Chase said to me when we were leaving the neighborhood.

  “They were good. The Psychology of…”

  “Great to hear. You’re an ace, for sure. My finals were a real bear. I had to study all night for weeks it seemed like. Really tense stuff…although I wish you were at Harvard you’re lucky to have gone local…lots easier. I worked so hard for those A’s.”

  It was all I could do to force a smile, but I managed and Chase took that as an invitation to keep talking about the woes of his Ivy League education.

  “And the trip to New York was awesome; the perfect way to diffuse with the guys.”

  “What did you do there?” I asked.

  Chase looked at me and paused before talking. I think he was calculating his words, not wanting to say something that might get him, or maybe one of his friends, into trouble. “We just went to a few clubs, did a little shopping.”

  “Frat guys go shopping when they take a vacation together?” I asked. I genuinely was shocked by that declaration.

  “Don’t sound so surprised. The selections are definitely better in New York City than they are in Boston.”

  He was right. Why was I sounding so suspicious? It was ridiculous. It must have been from the surprise of seeing him. It had just caught me completely off guard.

  “It’s going to be great being around you for the summer,” I said. “I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you, too, Taylor.” He took his hand and rubbed it on my thigh, slowly traveling upward. Then he pulled it away as quickly as he’d placed it there and continued on talking again. He went on and on about people I didn’t know and different things that were interesting to him, more so than me. He’d taken up rugby this past year and was talking about how brutal the matches were, how tough he was in them, and that he was well known on campus as a result.

  “All the girls are probably eager to get a bit of Chase Nichols, super star rugby player.” I said the words with a flat, dull tone, but he didn’t pick up on that. He was all about his amazing qualities, truly believing that his very presence on this earth made him a gift to all people.

  “Yes, but I always tell them that I have only one girlfriend,” he replied.

  I had no idea what that meant because it didn’t seem to make any sense to me. Did that mean he hung out with girls, but just didn’t call them girlfriend; or did it mean that he let everyone know he had a girlfriend? It’d be easy for them to assume he didn’t because I hadn’t been able to make it to Harvard campus once that year. My classes had been too intense and when I did have free time, it had been important for me to help Dad out.

  Chase continue talking and I was wrapped up in my own thoughts, only nodding my head, murmuring a comment, and overall, not really listening. He didn’t seem to notice.

  “We’re here,” he said. That snapped me out of my daze and I looked around. We were at the country club. “Surprise!”

  “Shocking,” I said sarcastically and he laughed, treating it like a cute little joke despite it being the truth.

  “We sat down at a corner table in the restaurant, one that overlooked the eighteenth green and the lawn bowling field. I looked at all the people having fun and briefly thought about how I’d be out there laughing and joking if I was out there with Salvatore at that moment.

  “We should go lawn bowling soon,” I said.

  “That’s so lame. You like it, but it’s not for me. I need more action.”

  “It has just as much action as golf,” I countered.

  “Golf involves mental toughness, too,” Chase said. “Now, let’s not talk about unimportant things like that. Let’s talk about what we want to eat.”

  I’d suddenly lost my appetite and ordered a shrimp Caesar salad, which I picked at. I watched Chase as he ate a large steak, salad, baked potato, and every roll in the basket on the table. He was acting like he hadn’t eaten in a year. It was a good thing he was athletic and fit because if he ate like that without being so, he’d have had a serious weight problem.

  “Hi Chase. You’re back in town,” someone said from behind me. I looked around and saw a girl we’d graduated with, Mandy Banks, cooing at Chase like he was a movie star. Then she looked at me and said, “Taylor.”

  “Mandy,” I replied, sharing her same level of non-enthusiasm.

  “Hello Mandy, you look great. We’ll have to catch up,” Chase said.

  “Let’s do that. Well, I’ll leave you two to your little date. How romantic,” she said. Then she walked away, swinging and swaying her bony hips with more swagger than a prostitute working the strip.

  Chase looked at me and leaned in, placing his hand on top of mine. “It’s so good to be back home by you, Taylor. It really killed me when you didn’t come to Harvard with me. It was so hard to manage all my needs.”

  “You mean sex?”

  “Well, yes, sex, but also just having someone around who adores me.”

  “And that you adore, too,” I added.

  “Of course. I have a feeling that this summer we are going to take things to a different level.”

  I was about to respond, but couldn’t get any words out. What did he mean by that? Everyone had always assumed that we were going to get married, even us in the past, but I didn’t think that I was anywhere near ready for such a commitment. I didn’t think Chase felt that way either before, but now
…

  “Are you ready to go, Taylor?”

  “Sure. Where’s the second half of my surprise taking place?”

  “You’ll know when we get there.”

  Well, I knew before we got there because we took a right out of town and that only led to one place that Chase would be interested in going—his parents lake home.

  Every time we took the hour drive to that lake home my mind went back to the day when he took me there and I surrendered my virginity to him. It’s an important day in anyone’s life and at that moment I felt so loved, so special and connected, that I would have done anything for him. Every word he’s said was smooth, every caress and touch he gave me was amazing, and I was so excited that he was the one. There hadn’t been a doubt in my mind that I’d been making the right choice. I hadn’t even minded that he’d lost his virginity before that because I knew that I was the one that was special—the one who’d captured his heart.

  Since that day I had never been with another man physically or even experienced another kiss. I know that Chase had though and the two times I caught him I did forgive him for it, at least I think I truly did. However, I was aware of how some people talked, especially ones my age—Allison in particular—about how he was a womanizer, not faithful, and I deserved better. Did I deserve better? I had no idea. I wasn’t ready to let go of him and that notion that were supposed to be together. Perhaps he just had more growing up to do than even I did.

  Once again, Chase proclaimed, “We’re here. Surprised.”

  “I’ll confess; I wasn’t surprised since you took a right turn out of the club. We have never taken a right there unless we were headed here.”

  “You know me so well.”

  “Yes, I think I do,” I said. Despite my apprehensions, it did feel good to have some time alone with Chase at the lake home. It was a special place to me because of all that we’d experienced there in the past. It was also very beautiful and pristine, making me feel like I was in an entirely different world than the one in the chaotic urban area just an hour away. Perhaps experiencing the lake house would help to snap me out of the slight funk I was feeling in my heart.

  Chase took my hand and led me into the bedroom, where he proceeded to slowly strip of my clothes, lingering on each part of my body as he did so.

  “So beautiful. Such a tight body…those sexy abs and those amazing tits. Damn…I missed this body, Taylor.”

  “And I missed your touch,” I whispered.

  I stood there naked and vulnerable in front of the man I loved, watching him peel his clothes off and then gently place me on the bed, eager to reunite with me in the most intimate way possible.

  When he slid into me I couldn’t help but allow the soft moan growing within me to escape my lips. It felt so good and I immediately felt the need to release my pent-up desires, the ones that I’d shoved to the back of my mind since I couldn’t be by Chase every day. My body started to shake and my back arched as I exploded, followed by Chase doing the same thing, saying, “Yes, Taylor. Yes. That’s right.”

  Afterward, I laid there and stared at the ceiling, consumed in thoughts that were so confusing. I did love him, but I was clearly finding it harder to overlook the qualities in him that had never appealed to me. When I was younger I could overlook them, but now that I was a young woman I couldn’t. I didn’t like it that he thought he was better than others who were less fortunate than him. When he made snide racist remarks it made me feel ashamed that I didn’t speak out against them. Those times when I knew he was flirting in code with other women in front of me were humiliating and I didn’t want to pretend not to notice simply to avoid an awkward situation. I wanted to be happy, relaxed, and really connected on every level with the person I loved. Perhaps that was a romantic illusion, but it was what I wanted. I was only nineteen and there was a lot of time to seek out a connection like that.

  It sounds like you want to feel the way you’ve instantly felt with Salvatore, I thought. Then I shut that thought down immediately, not willing to venture down that road.

  Bringing me back to reality was Chase and his insatiable sexual appetite that night. He consumed me again and again, sending me into utter exhaustion and a deep sleep by the time he was done.

  Chapter 7

  I felt happy, content, and slightly exhausted on the drive back home from the lake home in the morning. It had been a really passionate evening and my body wasn’t used to having so much sex in a relatively short amount of time the way Chase and I had. Our chemistry had seemed to pick up where it had left off, which was good. It wasn’t that I’d been worried about it, but I just didn’t know. I didn’t exactly have a lot of experience in that area.

  Neither of us spoke much on the ride back home, preferring our own thoughts, the beautiful scenery, and the taste of our coffee to kick start our day. We pulled up into my driveway and I got out of the car, followed by Chase. That was odd. He never walked me to the door. That must have meant that he was checking things out or planning on staying. No, I thought. I wanted to enjoy a hot shower and get a work-out in. That’s what sounded ideal for me.

  We walked into the house and headed toward the kitchen. Salvatore was in there finishing up his breakfast and I suddenly felt embarrassed, like I was doing the walk of shame. I hoped that I didn’t look like I’d had my brains rocked the entire night. Instinctually, I put my hands up to my hair and tucked it behind my ears.

  “Hi Salvatore¸” I said.

  “Hello,” he replied.

  “So, Sal, how long are you staying with us?” Chase asked, putting his hand on my shoulder and caressing it softly. I blushed at his gesture, wondering what he was doing that for. It wasn’t like him.

  “I prefer Salvatore,” he began. “I’ll be staying with the First family for the entire summer.”

  I glanced over at Chase and saw the annoyance written across his face. Salvatore looked just as annoyed by him, but a bit happier that he’d been able to say he was staying at our house the entire summer.

  “Chase,” someone said.

  We turned around and saw my mother walking over to him and hugging him warmly. “Welcome home.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. First. It’s a pleasure to be back home. I’ve missed you and Mr. First about as much as I’ve missed my Taylor. You look fabulous, too, I might add.”

  “Oh, Chase. You’re so sweet and you young kids in love…it’s so delightful to watch,” my mother said. I wished she wouldn’t have said that at that moment because it made me feel awkward. Apparently it also made Salvatore feel the same way because he walked out the back door and toward the guest house.

  For the next twenty minutes, my parents and Chase talked away, catching up on everything and laughing. They had definitely embraced him as a part of our family because of how long we’d dated. Chase’s parents had done the same thing with me, too.

  “What are you looking at, Taylor?” Chase asked.

  “Nothing really. Why?” I responded in confusion. I didn’t know what he meant.

  “You were just staring out the back window, lost in thoughts, that’s all,” he said.

  I gulped. I must have been staring at the guest house, waiting for Salvatore to come back again and hadn’t even realized it. Oops!

  “Just a bit tired, I guess,” I said.

  “Well, I’ve got to get going to the office,” Dad said. “Why don’t you come over in a bit, Taylor. Okay?”

  “Sure Dad.”

  “Oh my, I had best hustle myself,” my mother added. “The auxiliary is having a meeting and I’m the one with all the information.”

  “I’ll see you later. Love you,” I said.

  “Love you too, dear,” my mother said. Dad winked at me and the two were off.

  Just as they walked out, Salvatore returned into the house and if I’d felt awkward before, it had amplified tenfold now. I didn’t want to be around it so I excused myself to go to my bedroom and change while they had their macho showdown with each other. Neither look
ed intimidated and both looked quite comfortable in their own skin while doing it. Seeing Chase act that way wasn’t surprising to me because he’d always been that way; however, seeing Salvatore act that way was a bit surprising for me. Something in his eyes was different though—it wasn’t arrogance as much as it was quiet self-assurance. Naturally, I thought it was appealing. Everything the guy did seemed appealing to me. It was getting out of control and clearly Chase realized it.

  I went down the hall and into my room and closed the door, excited for the reprieve of my sanctuary. After I’d picked out my clothes the door opened up and Chase walked in, not even announcing himself with a knock. I was only in my bra and panties.

  “So, is he really staying all summer?” He asked this in hopes that Salvatore had been lying to him, trying to get under his skin. Apparently it had worked.

  “Yes, he’ll be here all summer,” I said.

  “Well, I don’t want you spending a lot of time with a guy like that. People might get the wrong impression,” Chase said.

  “The wrong impression? What do you mean?” I asked, feeling defensive.

  “You know what I mean, Taylor. They’ll think that you two are…you know.”

  “No Chase, I don’t know. What do you mean?”

  “Don’t get mad at me. I just love you so much and the thought of someone else wanting you drives me crazy.”

  “You’re just imagining things,” I said.

  Does Chase think he wants me? I thought.

  “I know we just spent an incredible night together, but I want more, Taylor.” Chase came up to me and began to grope me.

  “Chase, stop it,” I whispered. I looked toward my bedroom door, which was not closed tightly anymore.

  “I can’t help it. Let me take you now. Let me take you tonight, too. I need you, Taylor. Don’t you need me?”

  “It’s not appropriate to talk that way right now,” I whispered with a slight hiss. “Salvatore can probably hear you.”