Secrets of the Fall Read online

  I nodded and then I remembered. Drew had made reservations sometime before in between meetings with the Donovan Dynamics team. Having no experience with special forces or global intelligence, I stepped back and watched the team worked. I was tired as dirt, but the energy in the room was electric, with Drew taking charge and moving things along, I could not believe this was the same Drew Donovan who was a manwhore player and don’t-give-a-damn-about-the-Donovans-empire all this time. It was a complete transformation, and I have to say, it turned me on immensely. Drew was on fire, taking charge of Donovan Dynamics…a natural born leader in the boardroom as he was leading the football team. Why haven’t I noticed that before? Why didn’t I ever noticed things like that with Drew before…except only how he related to girls. Did all I cared about from Drew was his body and how I lusted over it? Was that the basis of my love or lust for him? He was so different from Nat, yet today, I saw how Nat and Drew could definitely be brothers. They both had that Donovan charm, that easy leadership and masculine strength. Even now, as bone-tired Drew must be, he was going a hundred miles per hour.

  “Adrenaline?” I asked.

  “That, plus, I know we have to do the right thing and bring them back quickly, whether or not that’s the plan.”

  My head shot up then and a look of alarm went past Drew’s face. “What do you mean whether or not that’s in the plans?”

  One of the valets came out and asked if we needed help with anything right then. “Nah, man,” Drew said, looking relieved. “I got it.” Drew walked to the car and grabbed my luggage, while hoisting his bag over one of his shoulders, carrying our luggage into the nice lobby. We were immediately checked-in as smooth as silk. No waiting, no need for an intensive inquisition.

  “Mr. Donovan?” a pretty young girl with her black hair pulled back into a ponytail and wearing the hotel business suit came towards us.

  Drew had his back towards her, but turned around as soon as he heard her name. “Yup, that’s me,” he said grinning his megawatt smile. The girl blushed and looked down slightly when she noticed Drew, but quickly recovered.

  “Oh, you’re so young,” she said appreciatively. “Donovan Dynamics?”

  “Yes,” Drew said, straightening up. “Just came from there. Is there anything you need?”

  “Oh,” the girl said. Her name tag indicated her name as “Holly”. “I thought you’d be older, being an executive there and all. You’re very cute.” She smiled, her green eyes focusing on his lips.

  I wanted to smack her. Did she not see me? Did she realize how rude she was ignoring me as a person, but also ignoring me as Mr. Donovan’s companion and possible girlfriend? The nerve of some people…

  She turned her pretty head to take a good look at me before lifting her head up further and dismissing me. With a small smile and crinkling her green eyes excitedly, she said to Drew, “We have special rooms for our guests from Donovan Dynamics. I’ll take you there, Mr. Donovan,” she said licking her lips and visibly fixing her hair. She turned and walked in front of us, purposely swaying her hips a bit too much for someone who was supposed to just walk us to our room.

  I watched Drew as his eyes fixed on Holly’s butt walking seductively in front of us. Her strutting had its desired effects, and I wanted to jump in front of Drew, push Holly out of the way, smack her one, and turn around to smack him one. Just when I thought I’d do it, Drew slipped his arm around my waist, squeezed me, and leaned over to whisper in my ear. “Can’t wait to get to our room, Summer. I know you’re exhausted, but I can’t wait to get you all alone with me, naked, and…” he stopped. “Whatever will happen between us, will.”

  I almost stopped walking as reality hit me in the face. Was I with Drew? Was I going to be with him? Nat is still alive so I shouldn’t even think about being with Drew. All of a sudden, I felt sick. What was I doing? I went from missing Nat so much and being in such despair and grief over losing him…to sleeping with Drew and now about to share a room with him and probably ended up sleeping with him again. As much as I wanted him, as much as I was jealous with the flirting Holly was doing with him, I had to have some control.

  I stopped. “Drew,” I said, turning to him and stopping him. Holly was a few feet away and haven’t noticed us not following her. “I need to get a room of my own.”

  “What?” Drew asked. “You don’t have to do that. I can sleep on the sofa. Why? What did I do? Why don’t you want to stay with me in the same room?” He searched my face earnestly. “What’s the matter?”

  “Drew, I do, but that’s the thing…now that I know for certain that Nat is still alive, I can’t be with you.”

  Drew looked like he wanted to punch something or someone. Then he took a deep breath. “It’s not that…I want to be in the same room with you to watch over you. Be there for you.”

  “Can you honestly say you won’t try anything if we share a room?” I asked.

  Drew didn’t answer for a while, but then he said, “Contrary to what you think of me, Summer, I’m not an animal. I have some control. If you don’t want me to touch you or kiss you at all while we’re sharing the room, I won’t.”

  I stared at him, at the sensual curve of his lips…lips that I couldn’t seem to get enough of. “Promise?”

  “Scout’s honor that I won’t push you to do anything you don’t want, Summer. You’re in control. I’ll do whatever you say.” He looked at me, his eyes softening. “I just want to make sure you’re okay…that you’ll be safe.”

  “Alright,” I said. “We’ll share a room.”

  “Good,” Drew said as we began to catch up to Holly who had stopped in front of a set of double doors.

  “Here we are?” Holly said, opening the doors and handing Drew the key. “The Presidential Suite.”

  My mouth fell open as I looked at Drew.

  Holly walked in and opened the drapes a little more. The room was stunning with a hallway, an extra bedroom, a living room, and a balcony that looked out to the city. There were fresh flowers everywhere, including trays of fruit, breads, and cheese.

  “If there is anything you need, Mr. Donovan,” Holly smiled a seductive smile, “Just picked up the phone and it will go directly to me.”

  She gave me a hard look, lifted her chin, and left, closing the doors behind her.

  I nudged Drew. “The Presidential Suite?”

  “It’s the only room they had under the Donovan Dynamics account. The rest of the rooms were booked.”

  “How? Is there some kind of convention for Donovan Dynamics?”

  “No,” Drew said. “No convention. Our operations and what we do are discreet. We didn’t get too many rooms, and of the rooms we got, they were either the Presidential Suite or one of the other suites.”

  “That’s nice,” I said. “Donovan Dynamics is really doing well.”

  Drew shrugged. “I guess. I tried to stay out of it as much as I could…it was mostly Nat’s thing, but Dad had me at the office once in a while when we were growing up. Even Rachel. We all know a few things about Donovan Dynamics. Not as much as Nat, though, but Rach and I aren’t completely clueless.”

  “But the Presidential Suite at the Four Seasons?”

  “Must be because I’m a Donovan,” Drew said. “Plus,” he took off my sweater and led me to the soft chenille sofa that felt heavenly when I sat down. “We need our rest. What better place to rest than here.” He laid down on the sofa and indicated for me to lay my head on his chest.

  “Drew…” I said. “You promised.”

  “I promised not to kiss you or touch you if you didn’t want it,” Drew said earnestly. “But all I’m going to do is give you a massage.” Drew looked innocently at me. “Do you want that at least?”

  The idea of that sounded heavenly to me…being massaged by Drew’s strong hands. His hands, used to gripping a football with such control and precision, always knew how to massage me when I needed it. After having sat in Drew’s car for hours, then participated in meetings all night at D
onovan Dynamics; I felt how stiff my back and neck was. I was beginning to get a headache too from lack of sleep.

  “That’s alright, Drew,” I said. “You need to sleep…more than I do…”

  “Hey, it’s okay,” Drew said. “My mind’s too wired to go to sleep right now so I could massage you. It’ll help me settle down. I need something to do with my hands.” He smirked, “Besides working. I need to relax, too, and I can’t think of a better way than to massage you.”

  “Drew…you promised,” I said.

  “I know,” he said, turning me around and pulling me up on top of him so that my face was resting on his chest and he was kneading my back. Drew had always acted fast.

  The next thing I knew, I was sound asleep on his chest, happily snoring away while his fingers twisted and pounded the stiffness out of my shoulders and neck. As attracted as I was to him, as much as I wanted to explore his body with my hands and lips, I felt comfortable and safe in Drew’s arms, with his arms wrapped around me, holding me, massaging me. It was the first time since we’ve had sex that I didn’t feel insta-lust with him, but a feeling of comfort and safety…the way I felt with Nat, whom I’ve always felt was my protector since we were kids and he stood up to bullies for me.

  I drifted off into deep sleep, too exhausted to protest when Drew bent down and kissed me on my temples. It was chaste enough, and in a small way, I was a bit disappointed.

  “Sweet dreams, my Princess,” Drew whispered into my ear. “I will always protect you, always…even if I have to hide the truth to keep you safe. I love you more than life itself, but what I’m about to do…I hope you will forgive me when you understand why I did it.”

  Did I just dreamed Drew apologizing for something he was about to do?

  Then I heard him talking to himself while I almost drifted off completely. “I made a promise that I’ve broken already today. I went against my promise, but it made you happy and hopeful, ready to live, ready to keep living. Oh God, why must it be this way? Why can’t I tell you the truth? Why? I hate myself already for having to put her through this, but…if she only knew, she would understand. Dear Summer, please forgive me.”

  Chapter 5

  Drew

  I wanted to get Summer away from Donovan Dynamics as soon as the mission was accomplished. By “the mission” I meant the first meeting with the team in charge of Operations Rescue Family. It was close, having Summer at the headquarters all night long, while Tim and the team worked, securing a “Special Forces” team to rescue Nat and Dad.

  It was a good thing everyone on that team have had specialized training and a background as ex-military, ex-CIA, and even ex-FBI. To tell you the truth, I was intimidated standing in the same room with some of these lethal and highly-trained, but seemingly harmless-looking Donovan Dynamics employees. But I had to keep up appearances, play a role, and act like I was taking charge, rather than following orders.

  All for the sake of Summer.

  That’s why when she walked into the room, the Team was surprised to see her, shooting questioning looks at me that asked, “Why the hell did you bring her here, Donovan?”

  I knew I should have just brought her here for a very short time just to say “hi” to everyone who worked on helping her with the cyber-bullying case before, but the entire finding another Special Forces team to rescue Nat and Dad seemed necessary to help Summer get through the day, to help her fight this grief of missing Nat.

  While Summer slept on the sofa, I slipped out of the room and out into the balcony. It was afternoon, not evening as it seemed, but we had just worked through the night without sleeping so was now facing the day. I touched a speed-dial button, and it connected me to a center.

  “Input password,” the voice said.

  I inputted a password and then heard another voice. Deep, authoritative, and confident…the voice that ran Donovan Dynamics.

  “Drew, son, I know why you concocted this plan with the second Special Forces team. It’s a grand scheme, and I applaud you for thinking of it, but it is not in the plans. I know you want to protect her. I know you are willing to do anything to make her happy, but masking the operations with something like this will only jeopardize the true mission. Your brother and I had made this promise to Sookie before she died, and we intend to follow it through. If you continue with this scheme, with the intent to protect her, it would only hurt her more later. Nat is devastated by the possibility, but he’s now accepted this is the way it must be. He would always love her, but Drew, this is the way it must be. Tell her now. Or let the team tell her. But it must be done quickly and swiftly while she has you to hold her together. Do it now, son, or the team will do it for you, and it will be harsher. In the next few days, our group will be heading into the heart of the operations. It is dangerous, but this is where we are now. Why we are truly here. Summer would be proud if she knew, which she would one day. But for now…follow the plan.”

  I wanted to scream into the voice message how unfair and wrong it was to carry out what they wanted me to do. It wasn’t as simple as that, especially if they could have seen how bad off Summer was after hearing about Nat missing. How she was so devastated she was going to take her own life. That was not like Summer. She must’ve hit bottom to even contemplate it, and I would do anything to keep her alive. Even lie.

  I dialed into another number and spoke into my phone. “Thy will will be done, as it is in heaven and earth.” Then I hung up. I spoke in code, using biblical references. No one could decipher it except those in the know. Somehow we were fortunate enough to still be able to reach and hear from Dad, through a special voicemail system Donovan Dynamics had set up so phone calls and voicemails could not be detected.

  I walked back into the spacious and luxurious Presidential suite and laid down next to Summer on the sofa. I wanted to lift her up to carry her to the bed so she could sleep comfortably on there, but I didn’t want to wake her. She was still in the same dress she wore when I first picked her up at the Pad to drive her up to San Francisco. A very feminine white cotton sundress with crochet lace. It was nicely fitted around the bodice to accentuate her tiny waist, flat stomach, and perky large breasts. It was the kind of dress that made guys like me want to tear it apart, want to be the hero, and want to be the gentleman to her lady. It was the kind of dress I loved seeing Summer wear because it brought out the tender loving side of me, the vulnerable side, and the side that just wanted to hold her, kiss her, and love her like a lady.

  I watched her sleep peacefully against me, her breath gentle, soft, and warm near me, and her eyelids closed innocently like a baby’s. I reached out to touch her soft long chestnut hair, bringing it to my nose as I smelled her jasmine-scented hair. She was so pretty I could stare at her the entire day. Just sit here and stare. I didn’t need anything else from her. Just her presence made me feel good for being here. She made me feel good, like I was and could be a better man.

  I wanted to punch the sky, but couldn’t not with Summer on top of my chest. She won’t think I’m a good person or have any potential to be good when she finds out about Nat and I.

  Dad’s message to me kept me from sleeping peacefully. I tossed and turned, trying to go to sleep, thinking what I had to do. By the time I finally fell asleep, it was dark. I was exhausted from the guilt, not so much from all the driving and the meeting. Physically, I could handle a lot. I had a lot of energy, which was why my sex drive was high, too. Why I went through girls like water when I was still in high school, before seeing Summer again. She was the reason why I became celibate. I haven’t had sex with a girl since I told her I loved her and wanted to be with her. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else but her. To me, that was commitment. I gave up everyone else for her, for the possibility to be with her. It may not seem that noble, but for someone who was a commitment phobe, mainly because I didn’t want to be in a cheating relationship like the one my dad had with my mother, it was major. Now that bond between us was going to be tested.<
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  Like I said, I finally fell into a deep sleep and began dreaming all kinds of dreams. I dreamt about moving to Malibu, moving into the Pad instead of the apartment I got to avoid seeing Summer with Nat. Then I dreamt of seeing Nat with Summer that one time I saw her in the showers, and afterwards seeing Nat raise her bra to lick her gorgeous tits. I was jealous seeing him with her, but at the same time, it was turning me on. I wanted to be the one licking her tits. I wanted to be the one sliding her black lace panties down her leg while I got down on my knees to lick her core. I shuddered, feeling how I hard I’ve gotten just dreaming of me being with Summer.

  But I couldn’t stop. I was far down in my dreams, feeling harder and harder as I dreamt what could have happen if I had walked into the shower when Summer was showering, grabbed Summer from behind, and unapologetically pounded into her thrust after thrust with a few hip curls to get the most friction in her. It felt so good, holding her waist while she leaned against the shower walls, with me thrusting into her, with her moaning as I reach up and grabbed her breasts with both hands and teased her nipples to perfect peakness. I felt my hips sway and pound into her, my growls of pleasure mixed in with her moaning.

  I kept thrusting until I exploded, and she climaxed. Sated, but not for long. She wanted more, and as I begin to touch her below to enter her again, she straddled me and took me deep within her. She took control of me, rode me until I was groaning. “Oh Summer,” I groaned, “Fuck, you’re good.” I grabbed her butt and pressed her closer to me, while her breasts jutted out in front of my face. They were just the right height for me to latch onto one nipple, swirl my tongue on it for a bit until she was moaning.

  “Oh Drew,” Summer said. “I know we shouldn’t, but this feels so good. And. I. Can’t. Stop.” She shifted her hips on me, while she rode me harder and faster. I was about to burst when something made me open my eyes from sleep.