Secrets of the Fall Read online

  “If it can ease your pain and fill that void of missing Nat, Summer, I want you to pretend I’m Nat, use me, use my body as though I was Nat, to help you not miss him so badly.” As soon as I said this, I felt a pang of regret. It was like that one time Summer wanted to experience no-holds bar casual sex just to know how meaningless it was. To her it was meaningless, but to me…giving her Drewgasms (pleasuring her with everything I’ve got except without me going all the way) made it painful for me. She thought it was meaningless, but I fell deeper and deeper in love with her. She once said she couldn’t have sex with anyone without it meaning something. I once thought it was just something I like doing as part of me being a guy. But all that’s changed. The tables have been turned. I was now the one who needed more. So, as soon as the word was out about my offer for her to use my body as a substitute for Nat just so she can get over missing him, I knew I was going to lose my heart once more to her…hard.

  “You mean it?” Summer asked.

  “Yes,” I said. “I want you to get it out of your system, and to be able to rely on me to do whatever it takes to get you through it.” Even if I was going to end up having my heart broken for it.

  “No attachments then?” Summer asked. “I can’t handle getting attached like that to anyone again. I can’t let myself get as attached to Nat as I was.”

  I felt myself tense up. As much as my body craved Summer, I still wanted everything else with her. Everything including her attachment and her love for me.

  I was about to change my mind and tell her it probably wasn’t a good idea when Summer grabbed my t-shirt, rolled it off me, and began kissing my chest. Just looking at her, naked, hot, and full of desire in her eyes made me instantly forget my protest. She taking charge like this ignited my most primal urge as a man, and I grabbed her by her waist, turned her around and flung her onto bed. With frantic hands, I unbuckled my belt, unbuttoned my jeans, and slipped it off. I wasn’t even wearing underwear today, which brought a smile to my face when I noticed Summer’s surprised expression.

  “You really have earned your rep as a ladies’ man,” she joked.

  “What ladies’ man?” I said, sliding on top of her, my heated flesh against hers. The movement had us both take in a breath, it felt so good. I kissed her breasts and then licked her skin down to her very core, where I worked her with my tongue and fingers until she was crying out my name as one Drewgasm after another whacked her tantalizing body. I moved up to kiss her face and her lips, positioning myself up against her and loving how I was able to rub up against her. After some intense kissing and pleasuring, I cupped her face in my hands before I said, “I love you, Summer. My God, I want you.”

  She looked into my eyes with unwavering clarity and said, “I want you too.”

  That was all it took for me to ease myself into her, plunging deep into her before we both succumbed to rocking each other to the point of release.

  Oh man, was it worth the wait.

  I’ve had countless numbers of girls before, but none of them compared to what I’ve experienced with Summer then. It was not just a physical connection, but an intense emotional one filled with passionate and deep love. I saw the sky explode before my eyes, and felt a tremor go through my entire body. I was in awe of her. I could not believe I was holding, kissing, and making love to the girl I’ve been in love with since I could remember ever knowing what a girl was.

  As much as I loved the sex, I knew if I continued on, and if she didn’t feel the same about me, I would be the one sitting in a tub with the razor blade nearby. Making love to her fully and finally, meant the world and more to me.

  After making love to her tonight, I would be devastated if she didn’t end up picking me, and being my girl. If she ends up going back to Nat or choosing that pretty boy Astor over me, I really would go nuts.

  I squeezed my eyes shut in guilt and frustration. I could kick myself for feeling the way I was feeling at this moment. Nat had been missing for two weeks now, and tonight was the only time I was glad he wasn’t home.

  Because all I wanted…all I could think about was having Summer all to myself and doing anything I could to make that happen.

  Chapter 2

  Drew

  I decided to drive Summer and me in my blue Lexus up the California coastline from Malibu to San Francisco instead of taking the corporate jet for our first board meeting at Donovan Dynamics. With Dad gone, Nat missing, and Mother of questionable sound mind; I was the one Nat and my father had put in charge of to represent the interests of the family for the company. Nat had also asked Summer to help me out with the responsibility…something I was definitely grateful for. Summer had a good head on her shoulders despite the recent incidence in her bathtub. She was young, but she’s already spent years helping Aunt Sookie run a school. What she lacked in experience, she made up for with her loyalty to the Donovans and having our best interests in mind.

  I glanced over at Summer, who was wearing a cotton and lace white summer dress, that showed off her tanned skin, had a tapered waistline that tucked in her small waist while pushing up her breasts. She wasn’t overly large, but her mango-sized breasts looked like they could pop out at any moment, the way they sat in that push up bra kind of style top. I wanted to stop driving and dip my head into that glorious cleavage of hers and suck on each breast, her breasts were so enticing to me.

  Her hair was swept off her face with a gemstone barrette at her crown, while the rest of her long chestnut waves fell softly down her shoulders. A light dusting of golden tan colored her skin, and the pink blush she wore high on her cheekbones brought out her pretty cheeks. She was so beautiful, I just wanted to stare at her all day.

  It was Monday, and just two days ago, I was over at her house, checking in on her when I found her in the bathtub. Just two days ago, we had made love for the first time. I haven’t been able to get her taste and how she felt clenched around me out of my head since. I wanted to spend as much time as I could around her, but because of this trip, I had to go to football practice the next day, practice all day, and then rush back to my apartment, pack, and get ready for my trip back home to San Francisco. Meanwhile, Summer seemed much better so she went to the Academy, taught a class, and did whatever she planned on doing. I didn’t ask. I was just glad she was acting better.

  “So, Drew,” Summer said, relaxing into the soft leather seat. “Why the drive instead of taking the jet as always?” She looked down at her dress, her high-heeled wedge sandals, and her small clutch purse. “Had I known we were going to be on the road for, let’s see…five to six hours, I would have worn a t-shirt and jeans. And sneakers!” She bent down and took off her sandals. “These shoes are pretty, but they’re killing my feet.”

  I laughed. I should have known Summer would be practical like that. “We can stop at a restaurant or motel and you can change,” I said, glancing over at her. “I figure it would be nice to go for a drive. You know, clears the head, take in some of that nice fresh air.”

  “That’s it?” Summer asked, taking off her other sandal and pulling her legs up to nestle on the seat. “You enjoy driving?”

  “Sometimes,” I said. “I like it when I want to clear my head.” I thought about my long distance drive from San Francisco to Malibu that one time I was so upset about seeing Nat and Summer together. If it hadn’t been for the drive and me needing to get to Malibu, I may have done something drastic and even tragic. I was the one who felt like I was falling down to rock bottom back then.

  But, as I mentioned, since I did drive, by the time I reached Malibu, I had some time to think and to calm down. I no longer felt so vulnerable and angry. Instead I realized in clear details what I had to do. Step away from Nat and Summer so we were just friends. To me, Summer’s heart was still with Nat, and I just couldn’t compete so I didn’t, and I ended stepping away.

  “So,” Summer asked, her body turned towards me to give me all her attention. “What could you possibly have in that head of yours, that requ
ires spending 5 to 6 hours to clear?” She smiled her big sunny smile. Gosh I missed it. I haven’t seen her smile like that since she heard the news about Nat.

  I thought about everything…school, my football scholarship, Mom, Dad, Rachel, running Aunt Sookie’s Academy, Nat, Donovan Dynamics, and mostly of Summer. Was she alright or was she pretending to be this cheerful?

  “Shoot,” she said, crossing her arms. “Tell me, Drew. I know we’ve both been so busy with everything, and we see each other all the time, but when we get together, we never have the chance to talk…just talk, like we used to during summers.”

  “Summer,” I said, taking a deep breath and exhaling it. I leaned in to whisper in her ear. As I did, her hair brushed against my nose, and I paused for a second. She smelled like a warm ocean breeze mixed with sweet vanilla. “Ummm,” I growled instinctively. “You smell good enough to eat.” My voice was husky, and I had to swallow. Without thinking, I took my right hand off the steering wheel and instinctively cupped her chin, turning her head towards me. My mouth captured her mouth hungrily, and I used my tongue to trace the inner outline of her lips.

  This time, Summer groaned, while kissing me back harder.

  I was lost in her kiss. One night alone with her making love was not going to satisfy me…instead, it just made me want her more.

  “Bahhhhh!”

  A truck honked loudly at us, as I brought both hands back to the steering wheel and turned, avoiding side-swiping that truck.

  I quickly re-adjusted the car, and kept driving. After taking a shaky breath, I looked over at Summer. She had gone white.

  “Summer?” I asked. “Are you okay? We’re fine now. The truck missed us. What’s the matter, baby? It’s okay, okay.”

  I had to pull her into my arms, but I couldn’t while driving. I had to wrap my arms around her, hold on tightly and make sure Summer felt safe again. Gosh this woman brings out the most primal man in me. I didn’t waste any time pulling off the road and heading onto a side street where there was one or two restaurants. Summer had to change out of her clothes, and I wanted something to eat. Perfect, we could do all this at Carlos Cantina and Grill.

  As soon as I pulled into the parking lot of the somewhat large restaurant and killed the engine, I grabbed Summer’s hands. “Hey, Summer,” I said gently. “What’s the matter? You okay?”

  Summer nodded, but I can see her body trembling slightly.

  “Fuck it,” I unbuckled my seat belt, got out of the car, walked over to her side, opened the door, and grabbed her. She was surprised at first, especially since I was able to lift her up easily and carry her like a caveman into the Grill, her legs dangling while I held her around her waist.

  A bunch of patrons looked surprised when I walked in, holding this gorgeous woman in my arms. I think Summer was too stunned to even talk.

  “Need a booth?” the hostess asked.

  I nodded.

  She led us to a spacious one hidden in the dark corner of the restaurant. “Your server will be right with you,” she said.

  “Thank you,” I muttered, still focused on Summer. The tension between her, especially with me holding her against my body like this, with her boobs practically falling out because of the tilt forward, was so thick, I could cut it with a steak knife. My jeans were straining with the added tightness of my extremely aroused member I called Little Drew.

  I laid Summer gently down on the padded seat of the booth, slid in and kissed her gently on the mouth before moving down to her neck and collar bone. “Can you tell me what just happened?” I asked between kisses.

  Summer didn’t respond back, while I continued to kiss her, caress her with my tongue, and move my hand up and down her thigh.

  “Could you feel me, Summer?” I asked. “Could you let me know how you’re doing, even if you can’t talk?”

  Summer barely nodded, but I can see her body responding to my touch and kisses. Whatever it takes to snap her out of this, I’ll do.

  After some more heated kisses, I reached under the table to travel underneath her skirt to touch her intimately. When you’re with the woman you love, and you think she’s the most beautiful person in the world, it’s natural for you to want to touch her every chance you get. “You know what I want to do with you, don’t you?” I asked. “Just say the word, and I can find us a place.” Was she missing Nat? Was she missing Aunt Sookie? I wished I could get through to her. I wished she would talk to me. For the first time in my life, instead of wanting to fuck Summer hard in every way I can imagine, I just wanted her to talk to me. Of course, if she wanted me to fuck her hard, I’d do that, too.

  “I want…” Summer began.

  My ears perked up like I was some kind of dog in heat. Man, Summer had me whipped. But boy, did I want it. It would be a privilege for me to be whipped and bound by her. Not that I think she would be into that, but if she wanted to try it, I would try anything with her. I’d do anything with her, for her. I’d even wait for her.

  She closed her eyes for a second and opened them wide, the gold specks in them shining bright into mine. I could get lost in those eyes. “I want…to move on. I want some closure. Oh God, when the truck came at us, I thought we were going to die. Then I saw Nat’s face flash by, and I knew I have to find out what happened to him no matter what. I need to know or I will have the deepest regret…”

  I took her hands in mine and squeezed them. “Done. We will look into this and try our darn hardest to find Nat, when we get to San Fran. It’s one of the reasons why we’re heading there in the first place.”

  “Good,” Summer said with a smile. “I just have this deep sense that Nat is still alive.”

  With the windy road along the cliffs and the view of the blue ocean below, the drive was known to be pretty romantic, although Little Drew as still there, and I was having the hardest time concentrating on the road.

  Chapter 3

  Summer

  We arrived at Donovan Dynamics hours later and parked in the parking lot, resting for a bit before we had to get out of the car to meet the team. Drew drove like a madman, as eager as I was to get into town, and I was sure he needed a breather before having to face the security team’s news about Nat and Mr. Donovan.

  After I told Drew about my belief that Nat was still alive, it sank deep into both of our brains that time was of essence to find him, if he was still alive. There wasn’t time to waste, and if we wanted to bring him home safe and sound, we have to act fast.

  Drew surprised me, too. I thought he would fully take advantage of Nat not being here, but he didn’t. He respectfully followed what I wanted. He didn’t push, he didn’t force the issue. He made me feel as though I was in charge. It was my decision to take the initiative for whatever happened between us.

  What happened between us?

  My skin heated up when I think about it, and my stomach did flip flops. Then I thought about his large hands touching me at my most private center, his hot mouth kissing every part of me. I could not stay dry and unaffected when it came to Drew. He was Lust personified. Every woman and non-straight man I know would want to experience what it was like to be with Drew. My entire body still shivered from the memory of reaching an orgasm, no a Drewgasm, from him. I swear, the man probably studied enough sex tapes to know where to hit the spot exactly, how to bring women to multiple orgasms, and how to give women the best mind-blowing tonguing in life.

  My body and mind (because I love him so much too) was confused with everything that happened between us. We made love. Wild, passionate, unbridled love that came from years of wanting, of desiring a person you couldn’t have. We made love like our life depended on it, and despite me telling him it was only casual (since that was what Drew was into, not some kind of commitment), my entire mind, body, and soul was into it. As much as I missed Nat, loved Nat, and wanted him back with me; I could not deny that I wanted Drew with a passion that scared me to death.

  From the looks of it, from Drew not being able to stop touching
me, brushing up against me, softly touching my shoulders, patting my knee, or even little almost-there warm whispers into my ear; Drew felt the same way.

  But I loved Nat, and I couldn’t commit to Drew fully if I knew Nat was here. If he was here, I’d finally confront my confused feelings and decide once and for all how to deal with loving both of the Donovan brothers. It was so hard. I’ve known them for so long, and I know they are both a major part of me. Two parts of one confused but well-loved coin. Being sandwiched between two hot brothers like the Donovans was an impossible situation, but one that I wouldn’t trade my life for. But my mind…it was affecting me with guilt, doubts, jealousy, and insecurity. I wasn’t the same Summer Jones who had no worries or cares about boys when Aunt Sookie was alive. I was now this confused, emotional, and on-the-brink of a meltdown girl. If Drew hadn’t found me in my bathtub sobbing as I re-read Nat’s letter to me, ready to end it to escape my pain, I wouldn’t be here today, sitting next to Drew, the hottest man on earth, waiting for him to announce that we were here…at Donovan Dynamics where hopefully we could get some answers on Nat and maybe some closure so I could move on, carry on, as painful as it was…with life and everyone I knew in it. Including Drew.

  We both got out the car and stood, stretching from the long drive. Then Drew came over to my side and leaned against the car right next to me. “You sure you don’t want to stop by my place?” he asked, turning his direct blue eyes to me. He had been driving non-stop for four hours, and I could see the strain in them. “We can rest up a bit, eat, get unpacked, change…”

  “Is it far from here?” I asked. The last time I visited Donovan Dynamics, it was with Nat, to meet his team to handle the stalker who had been harassing me. I wasn’t paying attention to the distance it was between The Donovan’s Nob Hill mansion to Donovan Dynamics.

  “Well…” Drew said. “It is a bit of a drive. Not exactly close.”