Saving You Saving Me (You & Me Trilogy) Read online

  Serious Susan represents Sam’s ego, which operates on the “Reality Principle” – the part of our human consciousness that strives to satisfy the id with realistic and socially appropriate ways such as delayed gratification – acting on the behavior during an appropriate time and place.

  At one point, Samantha even uses the name “Susan” as her alias at Sawyer House. Do you think it was a conscious move or unconscious? As she talks to Daggers as Susan, did she act on her Lola side or Susan side?

  How did her feelings for Daggers finally raise itself? In a dream? In her conversations with him?

  Why do you think Samantha had a nervous breakdown?

  Who is more messed up? Daggers, Samantha, Collins, Derek, or Samantha’s mother Mrs. Sullivan? Why?

  Daggers mentioned Sam had peeled one layer of him, but he is darker than that. What do you think he is trying to hide from Samantha, but feels he must reveal in order to have their relationship work for them?

  Should Samantha confront her father about the Billy Incident?

  A Sneak Peak at an Upcoming New Contemporary Romance Series from Kailin Gow:

  Loving

  Summer

  kailin gow

  Description

  Summer has always looked forward to spending her summers at her Aunt's beach house with the Donovans. To her, summers at Aunt Sookie's beach house was magical, especially getting to spend time with the Donovans - her best friend Rachel and Rachel's brothers Nathaniel, and Drew. Here at Aunt Sookie's beach house, they can be anyone and anything they dreamed. For Summer, she had always wished to become as pretty as Rachel and for her brothers to think of her as more than Rachel's friend. For Nat and Drew, summers at Aunt Sookie's beach house meant fun and escape, a place where they go to with their mom and sister for the summer, away from city life. They never thought this summer would be different. They never thought things would change as much as they did...and it all began with them falling for and loving Summer. A YA

  contemporary romance with an edge.

  Releases May 2012

  Chapter 1

  Summer

  I’m standing by the baggage claim area, waiting for my three friends to arrive, and wondering a little if maybe I should have made one of those large cards with their names on that people occasionally hold up. It at least keeps me from wondering what it’s going to be like when they arrive. Oh God, I don’t think I’ve been this nervous since… well, forever.

  The card is out. I don’t have one to write on, and anyway, I sent Rachel my picture. I wonder if she was surprised about how much I’ve changed. I mean, the last time I saw her, I still had my braces in, and boys didn’t give me a second glance. She was always the pretty one, even if she did like to hide it.

  It’s been so long since I saw her. Any of them. It used to be that I’d spend practically every day with Rachel, because Aunt Sookie babysat her and the others, or Rachel’s mother would look after me while Aunt Sookie was busy with her acting academy. I guess none of us need that now, but we can still surf the way we used to, or go to the beach, or anything. When we all used to stay over at Aunt Sookie’s place on the beach every summer, it used to be great.

  It’s been three years now though. Maybe it won’t be so good. Maybe I won’t even know Rachel so much. We’ve talked on the phone and online, but a friend you spend all summer with is different to one you just talk to now and again, right? I haven’t seen any of the Donovans since they moved away to San Francisco. And what about Drew? What about Nat? I wonder what he thought about the picture I sent. Did he like it? Did he see that I’m not some little girl anymore?

  “Summer?”

  There’s a Goth girl coming towards me, all purple streaked black hair, ivory skin and dark makeup, in a t-shirt and jeans that go with her hair like someone has streaked purple dye on them. I stare at her for a good couple of seconds before I see her face fully and rush forward to hug her.

  “Rachel!”

  I shouldn’t have worried about what it’s going to be like with her back. Just hugging her, I know. I know that we’re exactly the friends we always were. Okay, so she’s done something freaky with her hair, but she’s still Rachel. We have so much to catch up on. I step back from her just so that I can look at her, and I can see her doing the same. It’s like we’re re-learning what we look like, or something.

  “Wow,” Rachel says. “You’ve grown taller, and you’re in great shape.”

  “Volleyball,” I explain. “Competitive volleyball. Mom thought it would be great for me to pick up a team sport, so I went for that one.”

  “You always were better at doing what your mom wanted than me,” Rachel says. She smiles while she says it, but she’s told me about a lot of it.

  “You still aren’t seeing eye to eye with her?” I ask. Maybe I should join the diplomatic core after this.

  “No, Mom’s being a bitch.” Rachel’s expression darkens, which given the way she looks now is a pretty scary sight. “Ever since she caught Dad screwing around, it’s been the same.” She shakes her head, and the expression passes, just like that. Maybe it’s because it’s such a great day no one can stay angry for long. “I don’t care, though. I’m here with you, the beach, and Aunt Sookie!”

  I hug her tightly again. I’ve missed Rachel so much. She’s like the sister I never had. Talking of siblings…

  “Where are Drew and Nat?” I ask with a grin. “You didn’t abandon them at the San Francisco airport, did you?”

  “I wish. They’re here somewhere. There. There they are.” Rachel waves over at them and I can’t help staring. Drew’s grown. He must be over six foot now, and he has the muscles to go with it, not really concealed by the plain white t-shirt he wears with his blue jeans. I remember him as scrawny, maybe cute in a kind of way, but nothing like this. As for Nat, he’s even taller, though maybe not as broadly built as his brother these days. He’s wearing a white t-shirt under a blue and white plaid shirt with loose fitting jeans and boots. They suit him. That deep copper hair of his seems to shine in the sunlight. I can’t help staring as the two of them get closer.

  “Could you maybe not stare at my brothers in open mouthed admiration?” Rachel whispers. “It will only make their egos bigger.”

  That’s hard to do, especially with Nat. Drew… well, he’s impressive, and who would have thought that he’d have turned into some kind of gorgeous hunk in just three years, but Nat was my first real boyfriend. My first kiss. I can remember when he used to defend me from the bullies back in kindergarten. He shouldn’t be allowed to go around looking like some kind of rock star.

  “Summer?” Drew says as they get close. “I’d hardly recognize you if you hadn’t sent Rachel that photo.”

  I can’t help looking at him, at how much he’s changed. “Three years makes a big difference.”

  “Nah,” Nat says, and his voice is a little deeper than it was. It sounds more self-assured. “You’re all still babies compared with me. Good to see you again, Summer.”

  I glance at Rachel. She knows. She knows exactly how big a crush I’ve always had on Nat. Okay, so it didn’t go anywhere after I kissed him, but I wanted it to. I wanted it to so bad. Just from the way Drew’s looking at me, he knows too. About the only one who doesn’t seem to is Nat.

  Nat throws an arm around my shoulders and I feel myself start to blush. That’s just him. Being near him.

  “You’re taller than you used to be,” he says. “I won’t have to bend down to talk to you.”

  Or kiss me, I think, but I stop myself from saying it. I manage to make a joke of it. “Oh, come on, I was never that much shorter than you.”

  “Midget,” Nat said simply, his smile widening.

  “I was not a midget.”

  Nat raises an eyebrow. “It looked that way from up here. The same as Rachel. The Two Midgets of Malibu.”

  “It’s not our fault if you’re just unnaturally tall,” Rachel shoots back, and that starts off a brief argument about exactly what
kind of height counts as unnatural. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed them.

  “Do you remember the time Aunt Sookie decided to teach Nat to surf?” I say, while they collect their bags.

  “Of course I remember it,” Rachel says with a wicked smile. From the way Nat looks suddenly uncomfortable, I guess he remembers it too. “He looked like someone had tried to drown him by the time he came in.”

  “Those waves were big,” Nat protests.

  “Sure they were,” Drew says. “Though mostly not right on the beach.”

  Pretty soon, they’re all talking about the old times we had at the beach house. There were the plays we’d put on right on the beach when we’d spent too much time around Aunt Sookie’s Acting Academy, and the beach fires where we’d roast marshmallows, and a dozen other things. Some of them, like playing at being pirates in the surf, were just kids’ things. Some of them, like that kiss with Nat, definitely weren’t.

  “Do you remember the time we decided that a beach house wasn’t enough,” Rachel asks, “and we ended up camping out on the beach maybe twenty feet from the door?”

  I nod. I can remember all of it, from the stars above us then to trying to erect a tent that kept falling down around us through the night. We always had the best time at the beach house when we were kids. It’s hard to believe that we’ve left it so long before doing this again. Will this time live up to it? I smile as I realize it will, because the most important thing is that we’re all here. That’s what matters.

  I lead the way out into the airport parking lot. It’s a huge place, and it takes a while to find my car. When we do, the others seem impressed by the huge, shining black expanse of the Grand Cherokee.

  “This is yours?” Nat asks like he can’t quite believe it.

  I shrug. “Mom and Dad want me to be safe out on the road. I guess they thought that an SUV would do it, and Aunt Sookie pitched in to get this one.”

  “Well, short of a truck, I guess there isn’t much bigger than you out there,” Rachel says.

  “That’s the idea.” They pile in, and Rachel gets the passenger seat. I’m kind of glad of that. Having Nat beside me would be too much of a distraction as I drive us out of LAX, through the constant traffic that’s there on the way out towards Malibu. The beach house is out on the Pacific Coast Highway, and we can see the pier from it, with all the surfers gathered nearby, waiting for the waves to be perfect for them. Maybe we’ll join them in a while.

  Rachel certainly seems excited about that possibility. “I can’t wait to get to the beach and into a swimsuit,” she says. “Do you know what the temperature was when we left? Sixty degrees. That is not the right temperature for summer. I want to be out on the beach getting tanned.”

  “There are tanned Goths?” Drew asks. I’d forgotten what it can be like with the two of them, constantly bickering in that way that says they really love one another as deeply as only twins can. It must be nice having brothers and sisters who are that close. In fact, I know how good it can be, because I’ve had that with them before. I’ve been that extra sister, as close to any of them as they are to each other. Maybe I’ll have that again this summer.

  Maybe I’ll have other things too. I have to admit, the thought of Nat in board shorts is pretty good.

  “We can do that,” I say. “We’ll get back to the beach house and head straight for the ocean, if you like.”

  “That does sound pretty good,” Drew says. “I don’t know how long it’s been since I last surfed. I used to love being able to just go out and surf first thing in the morning before breakfast.”

  “That or running along the beach, while the sun’s still coming up,” Nat says, and I can picture him doing it. It’s only half a memory, because it’s not him three years ago that I’m picturing. It’s him now, looking gorgeous as he does it.

  “So you aren’t both ready to rush home to everything back there?” Rachel asks, and I can tell that it’s some kind of private joke between the three of them.

  “Are you kidding?” Drew asks. “I’d forgotten how good Malibu could be.”

  I can see Nat in the rearview mirror, and he’s smiling. “I think it could be pretty good here,” he admits. “Okay, so there are things I’m going to miss about San Francisco, but they’ll still be there when I get back.”

  “And for now, there’s the beach,” Drew adds.

  I can’t help laughing at that. I guess when you live somewhere every day you forget just how wonderful it can be. Or maybe you forget just how good some of the other things in the world are, like great friends.

  “You know,” I say. “I’ve really missed all of you. I’ve missed this.”

  Rachel nods. “I’ve missed it too.”

  Table of Contents

  Start