Saving You Saving Me (You & Me Trilogy) Read online

  As Susan, I did tell Daggers about the pressures of growing up under my father’s shadow. While looking at Collins, I had to remember he was also Daggers, who knew many things about me. Just like I knew more about Daggers than Collins.

  The look on his face made my heart drop. He had doubt written all over his face. I threw my arms around him and began kissing him, wanting to erase that look of dread. My lips were on his, and when our tongues touched, all the tension and doubts we had, faded away as we were all lips, hands all over each other.

  The car came to a stop and we pulled away from each other as Vincent came around back to open Collins’ door.

  We had been driving for a while, and it didn’t occur to me where we were going until Collins said, “I promised I’d take you out to dinner tonight, so here we are.”

  He extended his elbow, and I looped my arm through. “Where are we?” I asked.

  “The Sky Room,” Collins said.

  “But I’m not dressed for it,” I said, looking down at my jeans and blouse and jacket.

  “Don’t worry, Vincent’s brought along a dress and shoes for you to change into,” Collins said, kissing my hand.

  We took the elevator to the top of a building, and when we stepped out, we were in a restaurant with a view of the Long Beach harbor and city views. “It’s breathtaking,” I said.

  “Not as breathtaking as you.” Collins nipped my ear, and I flushed.

  A handsome young man in a suit walked by then and smiled at me, his eyes lingering on my tight skinny jeans before meeting my eyes.

  Collins placed his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. The young man noticed Collins, then, frowned and walked past us to the other side of the restaurant. Collins muttered, “Even in just jeans, you’re the prettiest girl in this room. Maybe we can get away with wearing jeans.”

  “I hope so,” I said.

  A pretty tall and thin girl with copper hair and blue eyes, dressed in a black A-line dress came over to us with a menu. Her blue eyes devoured Collins as she took him in from head to toe. “Mr. McGregor, it is a pleasure having you dine here tonight.” She smiled hungrily at Collins, while Collins took my hand in his and pressed his lips to my knuckles.

  “I’m here for a special occasion,” he looked adoringly at me, “Katrina made reservations for us.”

  The hostess glanced briefly at me, frowning at my outfit, before returning her gaze to Collins. “Well of course, Mr. McGregor.” She led us past the tables and into a private room with a gorgeous view of the ocean and city night lights. She seated us and handed us menus before leaving.

  Collins squeezed my hand. “Well, we bypassed having to change you into a dress, altogether.”

  I looked amazed at Collins. “How did you manage to bypass the dress code?”

  Collins chuckled. “I own the building.”

  “Oh,” I said. “Of course.”

  Collins reached over to hold my hand. “I’ve made some pretty good calculated risks in real estate, among other things, and have done well because of it.” His icy blue eyes blazed at me. “Materially I’m considered rich, but it means nothing if I’m unhappy.”

  I leaned over to kiss him softly on his lips. “You deserve to be happy, Daggers.”

  At the name “Daggers”, Collins’ eyes grew dark and a look of desire flash across them. “You make me happy, Sam.” He kissed me gently on the corners of my lips before kissing me fully, using his tongue to pry open my mouth to taste my tongue. The touch was electrifying, and my entire body filled with desire. I leaned in, and he grabbed the back of my head to kiss me harder on my lips, my jaws and neck.

  “We’re in a restaurant,” I managed to say.

  “In a private room with a lock on the door,” Collins now Daggers hissed, getting up to turn the lock.

  “You knew that?”

  “I’m always prepared, honey,” Daggers smiled wickedly.

  “Oh you are, are you?” I teased. “That’s pretty bad, you naughty boy.” I leaned in to nibble his ears.

  He groaned before grabbing me, and lifting me onto his lap while he pulled my head back and kissed me passionately.

  I kissed back matching him in passion as his tongue tangled with mine in a delicious sensual dance. His hands had slipped under my blouse and were making their way to the back to unclasp my bra.

  All of a sudden, my entire body tensed.

  Collins stopped and jumped up from his seat, running his hand through his sexy ruffled dirty blonde hair, fear and trepidation replacing his look of desire. “What’s happening?” he asked. “What is it, Sam? Is it something I’ve done?”

  I closed my eyes and started taking large gulps of air and breathing through my mouth. After a minute my body relaxed.

  He took a big breath and let it out slowly. “Sam,” he bent down, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. “You’ve no idea how worried I was, seeing you like that.” He looked earnestly into my eyes. “Promise me you get some help with it. You were paralyzed with fear, and it scares me to think I may be causing it or something I’m doing may be causing it.” He sat back down to take my hands in his, kneading them, massaging my palms and fingers. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you. From day one, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. From day one, you’ve driven me crazy, and as a man who gets what I want all the time, you’re something I want so badly, but couldn’t have.” He closed his eyes and looked tortured.

  “Collins?” I asked. “What is it?”

  “I’m going to take away the sixth condition. I don’t want it. I want to get as far away from it as I can…not only was it bad for me, but I think, baby, it’s part of the reason you’re so frightened.”

  My face froze. I had pushed his sixth condition to the back of my mind, trying to ignore it.

  “When I first presented it to you, you looked at me like I was a two-headed monster,” Collins said. “It’s not something I’m proud of, either. It’s what I needed in a relationship with a woman because that’s how my messed up mind thinks.” He took a deep breath. “When you said you needed time to think about it, I knew you were going to have a problem with it. But at the time, that’s all I knew about how a relationship between a man and a woman could be, Sam. I tried to leave you alone. I tried all kinds of distractions, and worked extra hard. I even went on a business trip to Seattle and Vancouver. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you. And you wouldn’t return my calls. You texted me a few times, but I needed to hear your voice…”

  “Collins,” I said, wanting to reach out to him.

  “You wouldn’t call me back for days and when you emailed me, it wasn’t the same. I needed to hear your voice. No matter how. So I was desperate. I tried to call you at Sawyer House to talk to you there because you weren’t returning my calls on your cell and at your parents’ house. I needed to talk to you, Sam. I didn’t realize how much until you walked out of my house that day I presented my conditions. I’ve always had conditions, Sam, ever since I started accumulating wealth and had been burned by a few girls I knew.”

  At the mention of other girls, I felt a pang of jealousy.

  “It’s part of my calculated risks plan. It’s worked in my business life, so it should work in my personal. But when it came to you, everything went to shot. I didn’t care anymore about the conditions. All I wanted was you, Sam.” He ran his hand through his hair before setting adoring icy blue eyes on me.

  “I didn’t mean to become Daggers over the phone to you, Sam,” he choked. “I had called in to find you at Sawyer House, thought you would be working in the administration area, not the call center itself. You had been avoiding my calls, and I had to talk to you, at least hear your voice to see if you were alright. When you begin talking to me, as Susan, and made me feel so comfortable about opening up, were so accepting of all the deep dark things I was telling you, I couldn’t stop myself. It was like a dam that had been broken, and you were the kindest, sweetest person in the world for me to talk to, to fee
l like I was not this two-headed monster, but a human being.”

  He came over to me and bent down to take my hands in his, “I love you, Sam, and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize the love we have for each other.” He reached into his pocket to pull out the paperwork and tore it in pieces. “I don’t need this anymore with you. And there won’t be anyone else.” He kissed me ever so gently on my lips before pulling me to his chest. “All I need is you.”

  Chapter 18

  Sunday – 1 Month Later

  Another kiss – and then another. We spent hours kissing in bed every morning since Collins and I officially became a couple. At first, it came as a shock to everyone, but I couldn’t be any happier, and the smile I got from Collins every morning, said he was just as happy.

  There were so many changes after I moved in with Collins, against my parents’ wishes. I had reservations at first about moving in with Collins so quickly, but he had agreed I would have my own room and that I could have my own space. Because he felt the need to talk to me every day and to know I was not going to have another breakdown, ways of helping each other cope with our messed up demons; moving in together was the best solution for us. Dad, who never said anything about the argument he had with Mom, barely acknowledged me since the day I moved out. The only thing he was worried about was about how his congregation would see him. Mom, on the other hand, was glad I had left home, just to be away from all the negativity.

  She said when I was packing my things, “Sam baby, you’re legally an adult now. You could move out, but I’ll still be worried about you. It’s what mothers do.”

  It was Sunday, and I had opened my eyes sleepily to see Collins gazing at me, with love in his eyes.

  “Hi,” I said, shyly, “What are you thinking?”

  “How lucky I am to have you.” He traced his finger on my cheeks. “I can’t seem to stop touching you. Your skin is so soft and flawless.” He took both of my hands, entwining his fingers through mine and lifted my arms above my head as he kissed my mouth slowly and thoroughly.

  “Hmm, Mr. Hot Bod and Perfect for Me,” I said sighing to myself. “Now that’s how a girl gets awakened in the morning.”

  “Mr. Hot Bod?” Collins asked, raising his eyebrows.

  “Just something me and the girls call you,” I said wriggling playfully underneath him. I grinned. My girls, Lola and Serious Susan. My id and my ego. My subconscious pleasure side and my subconscious reality side.

  “You call me that?” Collins began tickling me.

  I struggled underneath him, trying to avoid him from tickling me.

  He shifted so his hips were straddling my hips, and his thighs tightened against mine, keeping me from moving. He started tickling me with his fingers all over my stomach until I had tears in my eyes. “Stop stop!” I cried laughing.

  Collins pulled back a little while I tried to move underneath him. The harder I struggled, the tighter he held me with his thighs. “Will you stop wriggling,” he groaned, “you’re going to… oh screw it,” he bent down and began kissing my mouth until both of us were breathless.

  Then he turned over onto his back. “What you do to me, Sam…I’m supposed to be up and dressed, getting ready for a trip to Chicago, but all I want to do is tickle you and kiss you.”

  “I don’t want you to go,” I said, pouting.

  He got up from the bed, wearing his soft pajama pants that clung to his firm butt in a way that made me flush. “I have to. They’re letting him out, for good behavior. I have to go get him.”

  I gulped. “I’m sorry I can’t go with you to meet your brother.”

  “Technically, my half-brother,” Collins said. “He’s going to be a handful, Sam. I think it’ll be easier if I met with him first before introducing you.”

  He walked into the closet while I got out of bed, wearing a UC Irvine t-shirt and Collins’ boxer shorts. I went to my side of the closet, pulled out a green silk halter tie dress. I pulled my t-shirt off and dropped my shorts, while slipping the dress over my head. I turned around and saw Collins standing there with a big grin on his face.

  “What are you grinning at?” I asked.

  “What a lucky guy I am,” Collins said, slipping his arm around my waist and pulling me in for a kiss. “It’s only for a few hours, but I’m going to miss you. We haven’t been apart a day since you moved in, and that’s how I like it, but…”

  “I can always skip lunch with my mom and work at Sawyer House and go with you,” I said.

  “No, you haven’t seen your mom for almost a month. I know you two have things to talk about. Sawyer House – I’m proud that my beautiful girlfriend can spare time away from me to help others. It’s one of the many things I love about you.”

  I rubbed his shoulders, massaging his back with my thumbs. “Tate’ll be attending the same school as me, right? That’s why you were at my school the day we met,” I said.

  Collins leaned into me. “I remember every detail of that day, Sam. I think I fell in love with you the moment you bumped into me and flashed me your hearts.”

  “Hearts?” I asked.

  “The hearts on your boy-style underwear,” he laughed. “I’ve never seen a girl wear those before, and it was so darn cute but sexy.”

  “It’s a good thing I’m of legal age, Mister,” I said, “and a consenting adult or what I’m about to do to you would have my parents calling the authorities.”

  “Is that a threat?” Collins said in a low voice.

  I put my fingers to his lips and began rubbing his lower lip. He closed his eyes for a minute in anticipation of what I had in mind. When he opened his eye, he saw me bend down under my dress and slip off my underwear. It was the multi-hearts boy-style one I wore the first time we met. He smiled, and then I took it and tucked it neatly into the inside pocket of his jacket.

  His mouth opened in astonishment, I closed it with my fingers. “That’s to remind you of me,” I said, “and to get you to come back as soon as you can.”

  His eyes were shining with amusement, love, and desire. “Having this with me all the time is going to keep me distracted all day. I can imagine what TSA will think if they find it in my jacket pocket.”

  “That you must be a pretty happy guy,” I said kissing him.

  ****

  Vincent drove Collins to the airport while I drove my white Honda Civic to Dad’s church. I hadn’t been there since finding out the truth about what he thought of me. He had said he only married Mom because she was pregnant, and he thought I was his.

  When I got there, it felt strange being in the back. Service was already underway, and Dad was standing in the pulpit, while everyone was standing in their seats singing. Mom and Nydia was sitting in front, where I was conspicuously missing.

  My heart fell. Despite everything, we were still family, and I missed them more than I cared to admit. I got up from my seat in back and walked down the center aisle to take a seat next to Mom. As I walked, I felt all eyes on me. The looks I got were mixed with anger and indignation.

  “Have you heard she’s living with an older man out of wedlock,” I heard someone whisper.

  Lies! Collins wasn’t an older man. He was only a few years older than me.

  “They say she drove Mrs. Sullivan to drink.”

  I was furious now and leaned into the face of the girl who said that. “You’re at church, ladies, it’s not nice to gossip,”

  Their mouths dropped open for a second.

  “For your information, my boyfriend is only a few years older than me, and I did not drive my mother to drink.”

  I sat down next to Mom. She looked up, joy filling her eyes, with a tinge of sadness.

  Nydia, on the other side of Mom, was beaming.

  “I’d knew you would show up!” she squealed and had to be hushed.

  “Of course I had to if you’re here,” I chuckled.

  She hushed me back. My how I missed my sassy little sister.

  When service ended, and everyone in
our row stood up, I felt a touch on my elbow and turned around.

  Young Pastor Michael was smiling at me. “Sam, good to have you back.”

  “Collins wanted me to go to church today,” I said proudly.

  Michael kept his gaze on me. “Then he seems like a bright guy.”

  I tilted my head and cocked my eyebrows. “Coming from you, that is quite a compliment.”

  “No, I mean it, Sam,” Michael said. “He knew a good thing when he saw it and grabbed the opportunity before it slipped away. No wonder why he’s so successful.”

  “You don’t believe in all the gossip then, too,” I said. “You’re not bothered by it?”

  “It’s just gossip. I don’t care much about it because I know you and I’ve met Collins. It’s not a December/May kind of thing you two have. When I saw Collins leading you away that day, I knew I didn’t stand a chance with you.”

  I reached out and squeezed his hand. “Thank you for telling me. Now we can avoid any awkwardness, right?”

  “Oh, hey, of course,” Michael said. “Of course. Well, I have to go lead the youth group class right now.” He smiled at me, his eyes taking my face and dress in. “It was good seeing you again, Sam. Don’t be a stranger,” he said walking away.

  “Whew,” Mom said, “Now we can go have lunch.”

  Chapter 19

  After we took Nydia to music class, I drove Mom to A Restaurant, a swanky restaurant in Newport Beach that Collins and I often go for Friday night chicken pot pies. It was the kind of restaurant that felt very grown up, and she picked up on it as soon as we entered the door.

  “Very impressive, Sam,” she said, taking in the rich dark tones of the restaurant furnished in red leather and woods. She looked proud, yet sad at the same time.