Never Say Never Page 9

  He fixed his clear blue eyes on mine, looking at me intently. “Have you heard of Beyond Blue?”

  “Yeah, of course. It's the hottest new club in Vegas. I heard Rihanna was there last week...”

  “Beyond Blue. Owned by Clarence Blue.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Well...”

  Danny waited for it to hit me. Clarence Blue – the richest mogul in the hospitality industry – bigger than the Hiltons, known for the most exclusive and star-studded nightclubs, hotels, and casinos between here, Palm Beach, London, and Paris, and Bali.

  “Your...”

  “Dad,” Danny finished the sentence for me.

  My mouth fell open. If I thought I had a public image to hide as Keith Knight's daughter, Danny had it twentyfold. Clarence Blue wasn't just rich. He was the biggest celebrity of them all – a man who made his name by being flamboyant and over-the-top, a man who frequently had designated Girlfriends One, Two, and Three, who'd been married more times than Zsa Zsa Gabor, who'd had an affair with anyone who'd ever made it on the cover of Rolling Stone...

  “This hotel...” Danny said. “I didn't want to say anything. But there's a reason they gave us the nicest suite. And it wasn't just because they felt bad about John Flint.”

  “You own it?”

  “It's one of our smaller properties.”

  “And that bag?”

  “I called them last night – asked them to provide me with this change of clothes. The staff is used to me traveling around from hotel to hotel to check up on them once in a while, especially when my dad's away in London. It's part of the deal I cut to let me go away to California...”

  “What do you mean?”

  “My doctorate – I do that because I love it. I'm funded – paying for it myself with my teaching. I don't want to live off my father's name, any more than you do. But my dad – he wanted me to go into the hotel business. He agreed to let me go off to California without interfering or objecting. He insisted on giving me money – money I don't need or want. But I agreed on one condition. I'd work for it, like everyone else in his company. He tries to give me the cushiest assignments – but I want to earn my dues.” He flushed. “When my dad found out I liked to play, he encouraged it. I think he thinks it will help his image to have a pro rocker for a son. He hired me the best tutors money could buy; he called in favors from everyone from Springsteen to Mick Jagger. And a lot of people owed him favors. When I got good, I joined Peyton's band.” His eyes darkened at the mention of her name. He sat down alongside me, running his hand up and down my backside, my body crushed against his.

  “I would have told you earlier – but I didn't want it to influence you. Either for or against me.”

  “I understand,” I said. “I didn't want to tell you, either.”

  “We understand each other, then,” Danny smiled. “I'm glad. Someone else who gets how crazy this whole life is.” He pointed to another bag on the coffee table. “I called this morning before you woke up and had them bring some clothes for you, too. We've got a personal shopper at Neiman's Beverly Hills – I got your size from the labels.” His arms encircled my waist. “I'm sure you'd look gorgeous in anything, but you'll like what the staff picked out for you...”

  I was overwhelmed. My parents had personal shoppers, of course – as did most of the celebrities in Beverly Hills – but I'd always preferred to lurk incognito in vintage stores, avoiding that world. Now that world was staring me in the face.

  “Babe, I'm so sorry to leave like this – but I'll miss my flight if I don't hurry up.”

  “I have to fly to Chicago today to check on a new property.” He kissed me lightly, his teeth smooth against my lips. “But I want to see you tonight, Neve.” His voice was husky with desire. “I'm not done with you, yet. Come to my place tonight. I want more of you. A whole lot more.” He kissed me thoroughly then.

  And I knew that I wanted him too. “Okay,” I whispered.

  “And bring...whatever you like.” He kissed me one more time. “I'll be thinking of you all day.”

  When he was gone, I sighed with a mixture of exhaustion and relief. Being around him was almost too tiring – my body ached from how tense I'd been all night. I slipped into the turquoise sundress and sandals in the bag, impressed at how well they fit. Danny wanted to spoil me, apparently. I flushed. What I thought was going to be a one-night fling was shaping up to be a lot more than that.

  But if this desire I felt was anything to go by, I knew neither of us could ever be satisfied with just one night.

  Chapter 14

  No sooner had I driven back to the dorm and entered the common room than I felt a mysterious sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Everyone was staring at me – people I'd shared bathrooms and corridors with for weeks without so much as giving me a second glance were now looking me up and down like I was a piece of meat. I didn't even have to ask – I knew that they knew. I'd tried to keep my celebrity status quiet – I'd changed my name from the decidedly hippie “Never” to the much more conventional “Neve”, and done my best to avoid talking about my family altogether – but now I knew it was too late.

  “Hey baby...” A frat guy I recognized as living on my hall approached me, belching out gas that smelled distinctly like beer. “You make my chest burn, baby – you make me shake, like only you know how...”

  Those were my dad's lyrics. Lyrics I'd grown up with. But in this guy's mouth they sounded filthy, sordid. I flushed scarlet.

  “Come on, baby – give us a kiss...” He lumbered forward. “Just like you gave that other guy. Do you do that with all your fans, baby? Just like your dad...”

  “Fat chance,” I spat, turning crimson as I hurried to my room. My face was scarlet and hot – with shame, with fury. All it had taken was one blog post and my life was turned upside down overnight. When I first arrived at college I'd dreamed of being normal, of blending in, of making friends – of shedding this image of a Beverly Hills party girl that had claimed, one by one, all my friends growing up. But I was a fool. I should have known that my past would come back to haunt me, as it always did. Now that everyone knew who I was, I wasn't safe. The tiniest indiscretion, the silliest drunken moment – anyone who lived at the dorms with me could take a picture and upload it to the internet in no time.

  A knock at the door interrupted me.

  “Come in...” I muttered. “If you're here to kiss me…”

  “I'm not.” Kyle looked abashed. “Neve, I heard what happened. I'm sorry I wasn't there.” His eyes were so wide and so full of pain I almost wanted to comfort him. Poor Kyle – so sweet, so sensitive – had a habit of taking insults to me more personally than I did.

  I reached out to hug Kyle. “Nothing to worry about,” I sighed. “It was just some stupid kids acting like...well...stupid kids. They're just being immature. Just ignore that.”

  “I heard that Harry Prescott tried to shove his tongue down your throat.” Kyle gritted his teeth. “I always knew he was a jerk. If you want me to hunt him down, Neve, just say the word...”

  “Thanks,” I sighed. “But no thanks, Kyle. He was just being stupid. I think I'm going to avoid the dorms for a while. I'm thinking about moving out, actually.”

  Kyle's face fell. He looked crestfallen. “Neve, don't tell me you're giving up? Letting some jerk like Harry Prescott run you off?”

  “It's not like that,” I said. “It's just – if people know about my dad, I need to be a bit more careful. The paps could get wind of where I am – I don't want pictures of me in the shower ending up on TMZ.”

  Kyle nodded. “So you're moving back to your parents' place, then?” He gulped. “If you do, you know, I could move back with you. We could commute in together. Your mom would never forgive me if she thought I was abandoning you...”

  “I'm too old to run back to Mommy and Daddy like a spoiled baby,” I sighed. “I don't want that, either.” But as I looked around at my roommate's scattered clothes and obviously unhidden bong, I knew
I was just kidding myself. I couldn't be a normal college kid, no matter how much I wanted to be.

  “Then what will you do?” Kyle turned to me.

  “I was thinking of getting my own place, like Luc and Steve,” I mused. “The complex they live in has a couple of apartments free – I saw a “to rent” sign up last time I went over...”

  Kyle grinned. “Well, that will be convenient, won't it? Then you guys can all share the commute into town – and when we practice, you won't have to go far...” He looked up at me. “So, do you need a roommate?”

  “Don't be ridiculous, Kyle – you don't have to give up dorm life for me! You're a freshman – go have fun!”

  “I'd have more fun with you, Neve,” said Kyle. “I love meeting new people, I love the dorms. But I like hanging out with you, more.”

  I couldn't help thinking about Danny, about last night, about the pleasure I'd experienced, about the way we hadn't had to worry about keeping quiet – the way I'd moaned aloud.

  “I was thinking of getting a place by myself, actually,” I said. “As much as I love hanging out with you, I don't think we'd make the best roommates...”

  “What are you talking about?” Kyle said. “We’d make great roommates. All through when we were kids we slept near each other, spent all our time together. Pretended to go camping in your bedroom and set up a tent on your floor. Plus, I'm convinced your mother doesn't trust anyone but me to take care of you...”

  I felt a pang of guilt. Kyle and I had always been close – after what had happened to his mother and father he'd clung to me and to my family as the only semblance of normalcy he had left – but sometimes his sensitivity, his need to be close to me, felt a bit overwhelming.

  “Kyle, I kind of want to be on my own for a bit.”

  “But we've never lived apart before...” Kyle protested. “Not ever! You're my best friend. When I first moved here...” I knew the story. I remembered the pale, tragic-faced boy he had once been – the boy who had watched his father shoot his mother right in front of him. A boy whose bruises had not yet healed when he moved in. “You took care of me. When I had no friends, no confidence, nothing...”

  “But you have all those things now, Kyle. You don't need me.”

  “We could get a two-bedroom. Then we'd have our own space.” He leaned in close to me – really close, I noted. Close enough that his lips were but inches from my own. “I'll make sure the paps stay away – I'll take care of that for you. I'll take care of everything.” He leaned in softly, pressing his lips against my cheek. “At least, if you go away, promise me one thing. You'll let Luc and Steve keep an eye on you – make sure nothing like what happened the other night happens again.”

  “I'm Keith Knight's daughter, not the President's daughter,” I said. “I don't need the Secret Service watching me. What's the worst that can happen?”

  “I just don't want that thing with John Flint happening again. I don't want anyone touching my girl.”

  His voice was strangely intense, possessive in a way that frightened me. I tried to laugh it off. “Don't worry, I can defend myself against the creeps.”

  But Kyle did not smile. “I mean – I don't want anyone touching you like that...” He flushed scarlet. I'd always suspected Kyle had feelings for me – we were both hormonal teenagers together, after all – but I'd figured they'd worn off with time. I'd always known he was attached to me. Too attached, maybe, but with the childhood he'd had who could blame him? He was used to losing the people he loved.

  “I'll keep my cell phone on, all the time, in case you need to reach me.”

  He leaned in and for a terrifying moment I thought he was going to kiss me. But instead he just lightly brushed his lips against my cheek.

  “Neve, you don't get it, do you? Whatever happens after the shows, with girls, with whoever – you're the one that matters to me. You're the only important person in my life, well, you and Aunt Tamara. You were always there for me. When I wanted to go visit my dad in jail, and Auntie T wouldn't let me. When I ran away...”

  “I knew you'd come back.”

  “You sat in the back of your dad's car for days, making the chauffeur drive in circles around LA until they found me.”

  “I remember...” I smiled, but his words were breaking my heart. “You sure know how to hide, don't you? When you want to be left alone. You had me so worried, then...”

  “You know why I came back, though?”

  I had a feeling, but I couldn't bring myself to do more than nod.

  “Kyle...”

  “Because of you, Neve. So I could see you again.”

  I didn't want to talk about this – I couldn't bear to talk about this. No dating in the band – that was the rule. My rule. A rule I'd already broken once today.

  “If we can't be roommates, if we can't be close...”

  “Kyle, I want my privacy.”

  “Privacy?” Kyle's eyes narrowed. “What do you need privacy for – from me?”

  “Because I'm an adult, Kyle! Because we're too old to take baths together and sleep in the same bed like we did when we were little. We're grown up now, both of us – and we're too old to do what we used to do.”

  Kyle was getting the picture – realizing, at last, too late, that I was pushing him away.

  “Of course...” He forced himself to laugh. “I just forget you're a girl sometimes, you know? I'm so used to being around you, I forget it's a bit weird. You're not just a girl; you're my best friend.”

  “I know, Kyle...” I pulled him close to me in a hug, knowing how much more he wanted from me, knowing I could never give him that...

  “Anyway – new topic...” Kyle laughed. “I'm loving the hair. What is that – post-fling chic?”

  “What?”

  “Please, Neve. Nobody saw you after the show and your hair looks completely wild. And you've got that glow.”

  “What glow?”

  “You know. The glow that means you've just...”

  “I have not!”

  Kyle laughed. “Trust me, Neve. I've been with a lot of girls. I know that glow. You get with a fan?”

  “I'm not talking about it.”

  “Well, that explains your need for privacy, huh? The spoils of being a rock star – just like one of the boys...”

  I knew he was only talking like this to dull the pain of my rejection – if I was going to reject him, better to believe that it was because I wanted meaningless sex like the rest of the guys in the band. Better to believe that I was getting it on with groupies. I sighed. Kyle could never know the truth – it would destroy him.

  “Kyle, I've got to head home. I need to talk to my dad. He's probably so worried after what happened.”

  “Let me drive you back,” Kyle said. “I need to go home and do some laundry, anyway. I'll be there for you. For moral support.”

  First Kyle, then my father. This was shaping up to be one stressful day.

  Chapter 15

  Luckily, my parents weren't home. Mrs. Jostens greeted me with a smile and an offer of some mid-morning bacon, but I wasn't up to it. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts. I went into my room, closing the door behind me. I felt very old all of a sudden. Kyle was my best friend, my childhood companion – but he'd always been like a brother to me. I'd taken him in – or my family had – and he'd become more than just our housekeeper's nephew. He'd become one of us. My dad had gotten him guitar lessons when he got me mine – he ate at the dinner table with us. He was the brother I'd never had.

  I'd always known Kyle had issues with abandonment – who wouldn't, in his shoes? But I'd never realized the depth of his feelings for me. Feelings I'd have to learn to ignore if I wanted to keep the band together.

  “Knock knock,” Kyle entered the room, sitting next to me on the bed. He'd done it a hundred times before – we'd always spent hours lying on this bed together, just talking. But this time it felt weird – felt different.

  “I always thought it would be like this foreve
r,” said Kyle, looking up at the ceiling. “You and me in this room. A happy family.”

  “It was nice,” I said.

  “I don't want to pull a Geoff, Neve. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. But I think...I think I've made my feelings for you quite clear, whether I wanted to or not. And I want you to know I'm not going to act on anything you don't want me to. But – if you ever want me to...I'll be there. Anytime. Anywhere.” His lower lip trembled. “I'm crazy about you, Neve Knight. And I just thought you should know.” Before I could respond he turned on his heel and walked out, leaving me utterly exhausted and confused. In a few short weeks, I'd had to deal with Geoff, Danny, and now Kyle. Is it something in the water? I sighed. Kyle's jealousy made me resolve even harder to keep my relationship with Danny a secret.

  But not even my worry could stop me from driving over to Danny’s that night. He answered the doorbell with a smile, wearing the same clothes he'd worn that morning.

  “I'm afraid I'm simply covered in sweat,” he said. “I've only just come back from the airport. I had to go get groceries...”

  “Groceries?” I looked up at him. “Are we cooking?”

  “Not exactly.” Danny smiled. “I had a lot of time in airport lounges today. A lot of time to think. To think about what exactly we could do, you and I.” He slipped off my jacket, and I shuddered with pleasure at the sensation of his hands around my shoulders. He kissed me hungrily, devouring me with his embrace. “All I could think about was how beautiful you looked last night. How you smelled. How gorgeous your face is when you're in the throes of ecstasy – how much you were enjoying it...”

  “You think that's beautiful?”

  “I think that's mind-bendingly sexy. You're already so beautiful. But when you're....lost in pleasure – your face takes on a whole new character.” He kissed me again. “I can't wait to see that expression again. Have you eaten?”