Consume Me (Master Chefs #3) Page 8

  “I know nothing of the sort.”

  “You're not the marrying kind, Errol. You never have been and you never will be. I think we should both face that fact before we get hurt… or rather before I get hurt.”

  “You don’t think this hurts me? Having you run off like this? Without saying a word, without giving me a chance to defend myself, explain myself.”

  With everyone seated and belted in, one of the flight attendants gave the passengers all the safety directives. Taryn barely heard her. Her ears were too tuned in to every word Errol spoke.

  “We’re taking off,” she murmured as the plane taxied down the runway.

  “I’m aware of that.”

  “You’re wasting your time, Errol. You have so much to take care of here and you’re wasting your time flying all the way to New York. You’ll only have to fly back, you know.”

  The plane picked up speed as did Taryn’s heart rate.

  Errol reached for her hand and held it in a warm embrace.

  Taryn glanced out the window just as the plane’s wheels left the ground. They rose into the air, leaving them with a last glimpse of the Parisian skyline. Soon they pierced the clouds and the dull grey day was left below them while the afternoon sun seared through the tiny window.

  “Beautiful, isn’t it?” Errol whispered into her ear.

  While she nodded, she was eager to receive her mid-flight drink. The flight attendant was slowly rolling her cart down the aisle handing out drinks and snacks to all the passengers who needed the diversion.

  “White wine,” Errol firmly said the moment the flight attendant arrived.

  Efficient and cordial, he twisted off the cap of a miniature bottle of wine, poured it into two miniature wine glasses and handed them to Errol.

  “Here,” Errol said as he handed her a glass. “Stop fidgeting and have a sip.”

  “I’m not fidgeting,” she argued as she took the glass and enjoyed a sip.

  He smiled and set a calm hand on her bobbing knee. “Really.”

  She huffed. “So I’m a bit jittery, that’s all. You have me turned upside down, not knowing what I should think or feel.”

  “You're beautiful when you're angry,” he said.

  “Don’t change the subject. You play with my feelings, Errol. You're toying with my emotions, and I can’t deal with it. I’m not the type of woman who can handle a man like you. I wish I were. I wish I could. Maybe I’m just not strong enough. I’m not one of those strong-willed, secure women who can just watch her man ogle every passing woman and flirt with co-workers and…” She let out a long, exasperated breath. “I’m just not that woman, Errol.”

  *****

  Errol

  Errol sat back, smiled and quietly sipped his wine. He knew she was a lot stronger than she let on, than she realized herself, but he no longer knew what he could say to make her see just how much he loved her. Time, he thought. What she needed was time alone with him, time to see just how much he wanted and needed her… just how much he treasured her.

  For the time being, he let her take in what he’d already said. Surely his very presence on the plane was proof of his love. Were she any of the flaky women he’d known in his life, he’d be at home completely unaffected by her departure.

  An hour later, meals were brought to them.

  “It’s not every day we have a world renowned chef on board,” the flight attendant said, all too aware of the quality of food he was about to serve. “We do make every attempt to serve the highest quality food.”

  “I’m sure you do.”

  “Beef or chicken?” The simple offering brought a tint of red to the man’s face.

  “I’ll have the chicken and she’ll have the beef.”

  Taryn glared at Errol, but said nothing until the flight attendant wheeled his way onto the next row.

  “What makes you think I want beef? I wanted the chicken.”

  “I know,” he said as he lowered her table from the back of the seat in front of her. “That’s why I asked for one of each.”

  Feeling like a sleepy child who only wanted to complain about anything and everything, she glared at him. “You didn’t know. If you’d known you would have told him the chicken was for me.”

  “All right. I knew that whatever I ordered you wouldn’t want it.”

  “Are you accusing me of deliberately contradicting you?”

  “Are you denying it?”

  She clucked her tongue and narrowed her eyes. “You're not winning any points with all this, you know.”

  They ate in virtual silence and even bit back on comments regarding the food. While the airline may make every attempt to serve high quality food, the flavor was sorely lacking.

  After their trays were cleared away, Tar tilted her seat back as far as she could without lying on the lap of the man behind her. Without a word, she closed her eyes and feigned sleep.

  Though far from satisfied with his meal, Errol’s belly was nonetheless full. A few brief moments of shut-eye wouldn’t hurt. After all, he’d been keeping hellish hours lately and a little nap would do him good.

  It didn’t take long for him to nod off. The gentle rumbling of the plane rocked him and the strong purr of the motors lulled him. He felt Taryn’s soft and warm body beside him and gladly allowed the sensations to fill his dreams.

  He was already breathless as he swept her up in his arms, pulled her onto an endless bed and ripped her clothes off, revealing her exquisite luscious body. She was hot and sweating, excited by his animal ways.

  She fought him, scrambling to get off the bed, but he held her tight and cooed gentle words into her ear. She struggled harder and her breaths now came in short, sharp pants. At first he thought it was the excitement of their encounter, but he soon realized her breaths were filled with fear and anxiety.

  Her short, sharp pants were soon replaced with quiet whimpers.

  Errol struggled to wakefulness as the sounds he heard no longer made sense. He knew the scene she’d witnessed between himself and Madame X had hurt her, but the cries he heard were not those of heartache, but of something else.

  She’s frightened, he thought.

  Her shaking finally brought him to full wakefulness. He opened his eyes and was surprised by the intense darkness that surrounded them. For a moment he thought he was still asleep, still caught up in a dream, but he realized all the lights were out and the sun had long left them.

  Now fully awake and alert, he leaned closer to Tar and realized she was not only shaking, she was shuddering.

  “Tar, don’t worry. I’m here.”

  She muttered something unintelligible and continued to shake more and more violently.

  “I want to get out,” she suddenly blurted out as she pushed him off her.

  “Tar, we’re on a plane. Wake up.”

  “I want to get out of here. Errol, get me out.”

  “Taryn, we should be landing soon,” he said, though he had no idea how much further they had to travel.

  “I don’t care.” She stood and tried to kick her way past him. “I want to get out. I want to get out!”

  He took a firm hold of her arm and pulled her back into her seat, quickly buckling her in. Wrapping his arms around her, he finally realized what was going on.

  The same irrational fear of the dark that had so terrified her on that dreaded night in Paris. He’d heard of people who were afraid of the dark before, but had never seen someone become so petrified.

  She cowered in her seat, rolled up into a fetal position while strange sounds came from her mouth. Every once in a while, he legs jerked awkwardly, as if in a frightened spasm.

  Errol pulled her closer to him. “Tar, close your eyes. Just close your eyes and concentrate on my arms around you.” He tried to lean in closer to kiss her, but she turned away. Unrelenting, he tried again, this time taking a firm hold of her cheeks and turning her to him. He pressed his lips over hers. She fought back a moment, but finally softened in his arms as he slow
ly and reassuringly slipped his tongue into her mouth.

  “I’m here, Tar,” he whispered between hot kisses. “I'm not going to let anything happen to you.”

  “Don’t leave me, Errol,” she murmured as her fingers dug into his arms.

  “I’m staying right here until we get off this plane together.”

  “Don’t leave.”

  He kissed her again, putting as much warmth and reassurance into each kiss as he could.

  “Never,” he whispered. “I’m never leaving.”

  Chapter 13

  The lights flickered, but refused to remain on for another ten minutes. When they finally stayed on, Errol glanced at Tar sleeping in his arms. It was hard to believe she could now be so calm in sleep considering how violently she’d trembled once darkness fell upon them. He brushed her hair off her face and kissed her temples, not wishing to wake her, while longing to sooth and reassure her.

  Her lips moved in silent murmurings as she remained deep in sleep.

  “Is everything all right here?” the flight attendant asked as he passed through the aisle reassuring passengers.

  “Yes,” Errol said. “We’re fine, but could you bring her a ginger ale and an aspirin. I have a feeling she’s going to have a nasty headache when she wakes up.”

  The flight attendant rummaged through his cart and gave Errol a can of soda and a little plastic bag with two aspirins.

  Tar stirred as Errol thanked the young man.

  “The lights are back on,” she grumbled, squinting in the harsh light.

  “Yeah. How are you feeling?”

  She sat up and patted her cheek, opening and closing her mouth wide. “It feels like someone punched me in the jaw.”

  “It wasn’t me,” Errol said with a chuckle. “I think you may have grinded your teeth a little too much.”

  “I guess.”

  “I got you a soda and a few aspirins.”

  “You’d think I had a hangover.”

  “At least with a hangover, you have the consolation of having a good time the night before. I don’t think you really had a good time when the lights went out.”

  She reached for the soda and aspirins. “You have a point.”

  “I’ve never seen you so scared.”

  “Have you forgotten that time at your place?” She popped the aspirins into her mouth and cracked open the can of pop for a few sips.

  “No, but I have to say this time was even worse. I didn’t think I’d ever succeed in calming you down.”

  She looked into his eyes. “But you did. I don’t know how, but you did.”

  “Good thing considering the lights were out for almost an hour.”

  “I’m sorry I freaked out like that.”

  He was silent a long moment as he contemplated his next question. “Are you really that afraid of the dark?”

  Tar shrugged and looked out the window. “It’s nothing that out of the ordinary. A lot of people don’t like the dark.”

  “I agree, but few people become hysterical in the dark.”

  She turned to glare at him. “All right, so I’m nyctophobic.”

  “That’s nothing to be ashamed of, Tar. We all have our fears.”

  “I’m not ashamed, it’s just not a topic I enjoy discussing.”

  “Maybe talking about it a bit can help.”

  “I don’t really know what I can tell you. I’ve always been afraid of the dark. I mean darkened streets at night or a dark room won’t really scare me, but total darkness, pitch black… I don’t know why, but it makes me feel trapped, like the walls are closing in on me. For a long time when I was a little girl I’d have this recurring nightmare. I was always being chased by I don’t know what. I’d run behind bushes when I was outside, but sometimes I was chased inside and I’d hide in the closet or in an armoire. But that armoire would always turn into a prison, trapping me inside and keeping me in total darkness, and I can’t get out.”

  Errol took a hold of her hand and held it tight, trying his best to transmit his understanding.

  “The nightmares were so real, it was incredible. The first few times I’d had them, I’d wake up to a dark room; a dark house. It was as if the nightmare continued on even while I was awake. I didn’t really want to tell my mother. I mean, at nine years old I was supposed to be a big girl and the idea of asking for a nightlight was so embarrassing.”

  “So what d’you do?”

  She smiled for the first time since waking. “I got a small allowance for helping out around the house. I saved it up and finally bought a nightlight. I was in such a rush to buy it that I couldn’t wait until I’d raised enough money to buy it in a retail store. I found one in a thrift shop for a buck and a half. I was thrilled.”

  “Did you ever tell your mother?”

  Chuckling, she pried his fingers off her hand and toyed with them. “No, but I think she knew. I mean, she’d get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom or something, so surely she saw the light coming from my room, but she never said anything.”

  “But they were just nightmares. Why are you still so affected by them?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. The sensations I feel while trapped in that darkened nightmare stay with me long after I wake up; this feeling of being enclosed and unable to get out, of being hungry and thirsty and cold; the feeling that I’ll never be found and never able to get out. When I was in middle school, a boy brought me to the closet in his room to kiss me. He never had a chance. The moment he closed the door I just freaked.”

  Errol pulled her into his arms. “My poor baby. I hate to see you so out of sorts.” He wanted to ask more questions, but she’d already begun to tremble. “Don’t go back to that dark place,” he coaxed, trying to bring her out of the black nightmare that haunted her so much. He never would have thought simply talking about it would make her tremble again. As he held her in his arms, he knew that whatever he could do to help her get over it, he would. She was the most precious person in his life, and it surprised him how much he ached to see her so frightened like that. All he wanted to do was to hold her tight and make sure she would be safe.

  Chapter 14

  Errol

  While part of him regretted questioning her at all, another part of him wanted to know more about this uncontrollable fear she had. He was happy she’d opened up as much as she had. Knowing the intensity of this paralyzing fear was a major advantage. He’d now be better prepared to help her with her fear and to avoid situations that could spark hysterics. But as she continued to tremble in his arms, he wished he could simply console her for the remainder of the flight.

  Gentle sobs shook her as he passed his fingers through her hair. Feeling helpless, he simply held her while murmuring soothing words.

  For a man who’d known such heartache, he could certainly understand the difficulties of letting go of a long ago ghost. He knew all too well how fear could cling to a soul, how the desolation and hunger of a child constantly left a man’s belly feeling in need of nutrients. Those years of loneliness before finding his nana could have scarred him so much more than they had. So what had happened in Taryn’s childhood to make such a horrific nightmare cling to her to the point of affecting her so physically?

  She seemed completely unaware as New York’s skyscrapers came into view. She didn’t bat an eye as the plane made its descent to the airport. And when passengers got up, collected their carry-ons, Tar remained immobile. Errol had to physically pull her out of her seat and guide her off the plane.

  “Do you need some medical assistance,” the conscientious flight attendant asked.

  Errol shook his head. “She’ll be all right as soon as I can get her home. Thank you.”

  As they waited for their luggage, he called to have his sports car brought around.

  “I don’t have any luggage,” Tar droned as she stood at his side. “I only had the carry-on.”

  Startled to hear her speak after a prolonged and tortured silence, Errol looked
at her. “Tar, you feeling okay now?”

  “I want to go home, Errol.”

  “It won’t be long. I’ll get my bags and I’ll bring you straight to Sam’s.”

  He mentally set aside the plans he’d had for them. After such a long and tense flight, he longed to curl up with her in bed. He longed to hold her tight, to feel her skin against his, to kiss every inch of flesh, but his carnal need of her would have to wait.

  As he waited for his luggage to make its way down the conveyor belt, Tar leaned heavily into him and he could feel her exhaustion. The weekend had been difficult and she was now paying the price. Hopefully being home would have her back to her cheerful self in no time.

  With his luggage in hand, he led her out to his car.

  “Do you think your mom will still be at Sam’s?” he asked, not so much because he needed to know, but just to keep her talking and awake.

  “I’m sure she is. Unless she really had a difficult weekend. She said she was feeling better these days.”

  He drove through the familiar streets of New York, directing his sleek sports car to safe and familiar ground for Tar. The moment he turned into her neighborhood, she perked up, her eyes brightened and the darkness of her nightmares left her.

  “It’s good to be home,” he offered.

  She turned to him and smiled as she laid her hand over his on the stick shift. “I’m sorry I’ve been so difficult.”

  He shrugged. “Easy is boring. You’re a challenge, and I love it.”

  Another few turns and he pulled up in front of the restaurant. Errol couldn’t help but note the stark contrast between his high end design and state of the art restaurants and the older model brick and mortar restaurant that had seen little change over the years. The sign baring Taryn’s mother’s name was at least fifteen years old and as he followed Tar inside, he guessed the furnishings weren’t much newer.

  The numerous patrons, however, didn’t seem to mind at all. They were completely enamored with the delicious food on their plates and the animated conversations emphasized the conviviality of the restaurant. It was the type of place that attracted people who wanted to have good food with good friends and enjoy a good time. The scents and sounds that filled the air made him wish he was seated at one of the tables. He considered some of the haute cuisine restaurants he’d been to over the years; where food was artfully plated, the ingredients pricey and rare, and the patrons often times quiet and stiff. Maybe he should consider a blend of great food with a warmer atmosphere for his next restaurant.