HEAT Vol. 3 (Master Chefs: HEAT Series #3) Page 3

I brought my hands to my face, hoping to cool the flame that quickly rose to my cheeks, but when I saw the pain and anger in Bobby’s dark eyes, the heat of my cheeks only intensified.

  Chapter 4

  “That certainly was interesting,” Bobby said. His hands on the wheel, he stared at the road straight ahead. We’d left Taryn and Errol’s place nearly five minutes earlier and it was the first time he’d spoken. Before I could say anything, he turned the car into the parking lot of a department store.

  “Why are you stopping here?”

  “Because we need to talk and I can’t drive and talk about all this at the same time.” He grabbed my hand and raised it so I could see the diamond still on my finger. “If you believe this whole engagement thing is just some ploy, why are you still wearing the ring he gave you? You like it? Are you going to keep it?”

  “It’s stuck on my finger, Bobby. I tried to pull it off, but it won’t come off.” It went on. It should be able to come off.” Bobby turned off the engine.

  “What are we going to do if he pushes this engagement and wants to marry you?”

  “He can’t very well force me to marry him. We’re not in the middle ages.”

  “Arranged marriages still happen, you know.”

  “I know.” I had no real argument for him there.

  “And what about that kiss?”

  I wanted desperately to avoid talking about that. What could I say? I couldn’t tell him the truth. It would kill him. And I couldn’t very well lie. It went against everything I’d ever been taught.

  “It was embarrassing,” I finally said.

  “You bet it was embarrassing. Here I am trying to save my girl from the clutches of some rogue brother and she actually melts into his kiss.”

  “I didn’t melt, Bobby. I was stunned and shocked. It was the last thing I expected him to do.”

  He pulled in a long, tired breath. “It was the last thing I expected too.”

  “Forget about all that. It was just a silly kiss from a man who obviously has some problems. Let Errol deal with him. For now, I just can’t stop thinking about my father. I keep repeating over and over the words Rial said about him… and that accusation he made against my father. I’d die if I found out my father actually killed someone. I couldn’t live with the guilt.”

  “Guilt? Why should you live with the guilt? You had nothing to do with it.” He took my hand in his and held it tight. “Look, I’m prepared to put the whole engagement thing with Rial aside. You're right. We’ll let Errol deal with him, and let me deal with you. I’ll help you find out what really happened to your father.”

  “Really?” After that blatantly passionate kiss with Rial, I hadn’t dared ask Bobby to help me find my father. “I think I could find a lot of answers to my questions back at the convent.”

  “Okay. We’ll head out there then.”

  “Now?”

  “The sooner you get your answers, the sooner we’ll be able to put all this behind us.”

  Wasting no time, he put the car in gear and pulled out of the parking lot. Before long we were rolling down the familiar country roads that led far away from Paris, and closer and closer to my childhood home.

  My heart was pulled in two. I wanted to know the truth, but I was afraid of what that truth would be.

  Bobby must have noticed my growing agitation because he reached for my hand and gave it a loving squeeze. “I’m not happy about Rial coming into our lives and disrupting everything, but I’m here for you, Lilly. No matter what happens, I’m here.”

  I leaned back and let out a soothing sigh. “I know you are, Bobby, but it’s good to hear you say it all the same.”

  “What do you think you’ll find at the convent?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t want to get my hopes up too high, but I can only pray Mother Superior knows something… anything. A number, an address, an alias. I’d be thankful if she could offer any clue.”

  The closer we got to the convent, the more doubtful I became, however. “Surely if Mother Superior had known something she would have told me, don’t you think?”

  Bobby shook his head. “Not if she was asked not to.”

  He was right. If my father didn’t want me to know he was alive, he probably gave strict instruction regarding his privacy.

  The convent finally came into view, and my heart raced. So much was at stake. Bobby pulled into the long drive and parked the car. Looking at me, he waited.

  “Ready?” he said after a long moment.

  “I guess.” Half-heartedly, I got out of the car and headed to the main entrance. In the distance I spotted Sister Anne. “Come on,” I said to Bobby as I grabbed his hand and pulled him in her direction. “Soeur Anne. Soeur Anne.”

  She turned to us, all serenity and wisdom in her pale eyes. “Why, is that you Lilly?”

  I hurried to her as she open her arms to welcome. “It’s me, all right. How good it is to see you.”

  “And what a surprise it is to see you; a very pleasant surprise. What brings you back? Feeling a little nostalgic?” She glanced at Bobby, then at the ring on my finger. “Obviously things are going well for you on the outside. For a moment there I thought perhaps you’d changed your mind and decided to return to the veil.”

  Snuggling up to Bobby, I smiled, but didn’t bother with an explanation about the ring. “I still have God in my heart, but I do love Bobby.”

  She gave him a firm pat on the cheek. “You look like a good boy, a good boy for our Lilly.”

  “Soeur Anne,” I said. “I’d like to visit with Mother Superior. Do you know where I could find her?”

  Shaking her head, she patted my hand. “She left early this morning. Didn’t tell me where she was going, only that she’d be back at half past six.”

  I glanced at my watch. It was almost five thirty. We had an hour to kill.

  “I’m sorry, dear.”

  “That’s all right. It’ll give me a chance to re-visit the place. Do you think it would be all right if I took a look at my old room?”

  “I don’t see why not. No one is using it.”

  “And I’ll take Bobby through the gardens, if that’s okay.”

  “Make yourself at home, dear, and let me know if you need anything.”

  “Thank you.”

  We walked through the long corridor that led to the gardens in the back. “It feels so strange to be back here.”

  “Good memories?”

  I looked out at the gardens with a wan smile. Were my memories good? “I’m not sure. I mean, they’re not necessarily bad memories, but I guess I always felt like a part of me was missing. I know I was loved by the sisters, and Mother Superior was always very caring and attentive, but…”

  “But it wasn’t like having your mom and dad.”

  “Yeah.” I reached out to finger the bright green leaves of parsley. Pressing my thumbnail into the flesh of my index finger, I snapped off a few leaves. “Parsley; such a neglected herb.”

  “You mean those few leaves they put on top of a steak or mashed potatoes.”

  “The ones that people always leave behind.”

  “I could make a barrel full of taboule with the parsley I’ve picked up from empty plates over the years. I even argued about it with my mom once. Like what’s the point of putting it on the plate if no one ever eats it.”

  “Garnish,” we both said in unison.

  Laughing, we continued to stroll through the garden. Little had changed since my departure. The weeds were pulled out, the plants were all trimmed and pruned, and any ripe and ready vegetable had been picked. The only area of neglect was at the flower beds. It seemed no one had fertilized them for a while.

  “Come on,” I said. “I want to go see my old room.”

  The halls were quiet and bare as I took the familiar route to my room. Only the sounds of our footsteps accompanied us. Just to be on the safe side, I knocked when we arrived at my door.

  “Sometimes Sister Anne forgets,” I told Bobby before
opening the door.

  Fresh air wafted in from the open window, but the room was still a little stuffy with the faint scent of moisture.

  “I never could completely rid this room of the humidity.”

  “I can’t believe you grew up in such minimal comfort.”

  “When it’s all you’ve ever known, you can’t really miss the luxury other little girls grow up with. I couldn’t imagine having more. I didn’t know what a pink princess room looked like until sometime last year when I passed in front of a furniture store and saw the beautiful white canopy bed with pink frill covers and everything a little girl could want in her room.”

  “Did you at least have a doll or teddy bear to keep you company at night?”

  I pressed my lips together and shook my head. “I had Jesus to keep me company.”

  He frowned. “I’m not one to bash anyone’s religious beliefs, or anything, but is that enough for a little girl?”

  Unable to choke out a response, I simply shook my head. “Later, when I grew up, having Jesus in my life was enough; it had even been a blessing, but as a little girl, lost and all alone, without a mother or father, a doll or teddy bear…” The emotions of that lost little girl hit me hard. “Anything to hug and hold when I curled up on the hard, cold bed would have been comforting. At that time Jesus was just an abstract notion. Everyone talked about him, told me how much he loved me, and told me he was always there with me, but I couldn’t understand who he was, why I was supposed to love him, or where he was.”

  I sat on the edge of my bed, just as hard and uncomfortable as it had always been. A spark of anger took over for a moment and I gripped the thin mattress. Why had my father abandoned me and left me to grow up here alone when he was alive?

  “You okay?” Bobby said.

  “I was just thinking; what am I going to say to him?”

  “Who? Your father?”

  “Yeah. When I come face to face with him, what will I say? ‘Hi, Dad. Long time no see. What have you been up to lately? Why did you abandon me? Why did you leave me here, cold and afraid? Are you a murderer?” With every question, my voice hardened with anger and bitterness.

  I quickly closed my eyes and sought the inner peace I knew I had in me. I couldn’t let the bitterness take over. Quietly, I muttered a prayer.

  “What is that you're saying?” Bobby said. “A prayer?”

  “Serenity prayer.”

  He looked at me with a blank expression.

  “Lord, give me the strength to change what I can change, the serenity to accept what I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.” My heart full of questions and doubts, I looked up at him. “I can’t help but get upset at my father, but I know I shouldn’t. No matter the reason for what he did, I have to find it in my heart to forgive him.”

  “You have to believe there was a good reason for doing what he did.”

  “Yes, but what?”

  He looked at his watch. “Your Mother Superior should be back now. Let’s go ask her.”

  I led the way, praying with every step, with every inch that brought me closer to her, that she would give me an answer.

  “Qui est a la porte?” she asked after I’d tapped lightly on the door.

  “Mother Superior, it’s Lilly. Lilly Cooke.”

  “Lilly! Entrez, cher enfant. Come in.”

  I opened the door. “Bobby’s with me.”

  “He’s welcome to come in as well.” Beaming, she looked at us. “You’re radiant, ma chère. Absolutely radiant.”

  “Thank you. You're looking well, too.”

  She smiled and gestured to the chairs facing the large desk that was clean and clear of any object except the open book in front of her.

  “Soeur Anne said you wanted to speak with me. What can I do for you, mon enfant?”

  “I’ve recently heard some rumors, and I was hoping you could clarify them.”

  “Rumors. Lilly, I’m hardly in the gossip and rumors business. I fail to see how I could help you, but I’ll try.”

  “The rumors are about my father.”

  “Oh?” She closed the book on her desk and leaned back, clasping her hands over her chest.

  “Yes. It appears that he’s alive.”

  “Oh?” She pressed her lips together and it was clear she was uncomfortable with the conversation.

  “Mother Superior, my father deliberately left me here and went on with his life without me. Why?”

  “How could I possibly answer that, Lilly?”

  “Please. I need to know the truth.”

  “The only truth I can tell you is that we were blessed with a beautiful little girl who was frightened and lost, but who became a beautiful young woman who is now strong and capable.”

  I smiled despite the knot in my gut. “If he did leave me here, if he is still alive, I just can’t help but wonder if he’s ever contacted anyone here, ever asked about me. Does he care what happened to me? Does he want to know who I became?”

  Offering me just a brief smile, she then cast her eyes to her clasped hands and I knew she would say nothing more.

  With more calm than I felt, I rose. “I’m so sorry if I put you in a difficult position, Mère. It wasn’t my intention.”

  “God bless you, Lilly. It was good seeing you again.”

  I nodded and walked to the door with Bobby following silently behind me. “Good day, Mère.” I walked out and closed the door behind us, but couldn’t move after that. I was frozen, paralyzed by the thought of never finding out what had really happened to my father.

  “Don’t worry, Lilly. I’m sure there are other avenues you can take,” Bobby said.

  I knew he meant well, but I still felt demolished. “Like what? Get the CIA on the case? Interpol?”

  “There must be records of you somewhere. Your birth certificate… things like that.”

  “But I know who I am, Bobby.”

  “But do you know who your father is? Who he really is? What his name is?”

  “Yes, it’s Emile Cooke.

  “Are you sure that’s his real name? Have you ever seen your birth certificate? What if he came here to drop you off and used a fake name?”

  He was right. “Maybe I’m not even a Cooke.”

  Pulling me tight in his arms, he kissed my cheek. “Well, you’ll always be the cook in our house.”

  It was such a silly attempt at a joke that I couldn’t help but laugh. “You're so sweet, Bobby, going through all this with me.”

  “Come on. I’ll buy you a nice country dinner out in one of those quaint little bistros, we’ll have a glass of wine and then we’ll plot out our next move, okay?”

  Nodding, I hooked my arm through his, but instead of guiding him straight out the main entrance, I led him back out to the garden. “Just one last look around before we leave.”

  “Sure. There’s no rush. We have all night if we want to.”

  I playfully leaned into him, happy to have his support.

  As we turned onto the lane between the various tomato plants we came upon a worker.

  “I didn’t know they allowed men to work here,” Bobby said.

  “He doesn’t really work here,” I said, looking at the older man with greying hair and kind twinkling blue eyes. “He comes around on a regular basis to keep the irrigation system running smoothly. Hello, Mr. Portuas. How’s the system running?”

  He grinned. “Smooth as cold water on a duck’s back, Miss Lilly.”

  “Mother Superior isn’t working you too hard, I hope.”

  “Nope. Not enough, if you ask me. I like to keep busy. You know what they say about idle hands.”

  “I do.”

  “It sure is nice seeing you here again, Miss Lilly. You know, the place isn’t the same since you left. No. Just not the same.”

  “You’re sweet, Mr. Portuas.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Sweet, all right.” He eyed Bobby. “This your suitor?”

  I laughed at his choice of words. “You could say
that.”

  He poked his index finger into Bobby’s chest. “You better take good care of this one. She’s not just some chick you can have fun with and let loose.”

  “Don’t worry. I have no intention of letting her loose, sir.”

  With a chuckle, Mr. Portuas turned to me and pinched my cheek. “Watched this one grow up, I did. Yep, right from when she was this high.” He leveled his hand at his hip.

  Remembering all the times he’d helped me, I smiled and looked at Bobby. “Mr. Portuas was always there to lend a hand whenever I had problems. When the irrigation system was first installed he was here almost all the time and he showed me a lot about the plants.”

  “Show her how to tell the difference between a cucumber and a zucchini.”

  I laughed and patted the old man’s arm. “I sure do miss seeing you, Mr. Portuas.”

  “Hey, that’s what happens when you grow up and move to the big city. You study hard, work hard and if you're lucky you’ve got a good life coming ahead of you. The good Lord always rewards good, honest work.”

  “He sure does.”

  “And in between all that work and study, well, you can always come around for a visit. I’m here just about every Tuesday and Thursday just before sundown.”

  “I’ll make sure to come around again soon, Mr. Portuas. Take good care of yourself, now.”

  Chapter 5

  The sun was bright and hot as I ran through the garden maze, delighted by the game. The hedge that made up the maze was so high, I couldn’t even see the French chateau nearby, but I knew I’d eventually find my way out. I always did. I grabbed the skirt of my frilly princess dress and ran as fast as my little legs could carry me. I knew the first three corridors led nowhere. Turning the fourth corridor of the maze, I turned left, then right, then left again, only to come to a dead end. At the very end, I saw my reflection in the mirror there and stuck my tongue out at myself. I hated when I took a wrong turn. However, I did like the sight of my reflection.

  My hair was pulled up into two pigtails, and although I hated pigtails, I did like the big velvet ribbons that held them in place. They were of the most beautiful purple I’ve ever seen. I was a true princess in my lavender dress; a six year old princess who dreamed of her prince.